rapturous voice
by scarlettblush
Summary: Shane's feelings for Mitchie have changed so drastically since Tess revealed everything. Both are heartbroken and want this damn Camp Rock to end as quickly as possible. But how long will it take for them to act on their true feelings? And will it last?
1. Prologue

_prologue: we lie best when we lie to ourselves_

Standing there, leaning against the wall and gazing out of the window, he looked like Adonis; complete perfection, a Greek god that happened to hate her. His beauty was illuminating, which made him even more desirable, and the powerful status of a pop star he had only enhanced his desirability even further. His dark silhouette was a blur, merged with the fading rays of the seeping sunlight and the flickers of night. His inky black hair couldn't be distinguished from the smoky black atmosphere and reality; you could only tell where the lines ended if you knew him well enough, even if only for a little while. He was staring intently at the lake, as if trying to search for something that he clearly needed badly.

It was terrible to watch him from afar, hidden from his knowledge but she knew he wouldn't stand her presence, would most likely yell and scream his voice out until she was left in tears and even those wouldn't have any effect on him. He had turned so cold and harsh, refusing to even acknowledge her existence, only now had she realised what an impact she had had on him.

Oh how she missed the old Shane, the conversations they had, the feelings she experienced, everything had now fallen to pieces, hard to fix. And it was heartbreaking to see how he and Tess were suddenly becoming closer by the day. Watching them laugh at something or another, just enjoying the moment they were in hurt her to no end.

She heard him sigh before casting one more lingering look towards the sky and slowly turning away, heading back towards his room. She stood there, hidden in the shadows, carefully listening to the silence, desperately searching for something in it; comfort, understanding, anything, but it gave her nothing. Instead mocking her for her decisions as if it too felt she had betrayed Shane. Of course, Caitlyn had tried to reassure her, telling her that she was at no fault whatsoever, ultimately Shane was being a jerk. He needed time she said, but how long would she have to wait? As far as she could tell he seemed happier with a certain Tess then she'd ever seen him with her.

Maybe he'd moved on and their brief encounter meant nothing to him. But she wasn't sure; it seemed that the laughter between them only got loud and excited when ever she got close enough to them. But she could simply be hallucinating trying to create some sort of excuse and using it as a ray of hope.

She remembered when he had yelled at her claiming her to be liar and betraying him. She'd cried for hours on end, not believing what was happening, and after awhile she had fallen asleep from all the motional exhaustion. Upon waking up everything was a blur and she thought she'd dreamed the whole thing up, that is until her mother asked her if she was ok, and that's when the memories came flooding back and she started sobbing uncontrollably again.

She faintly heard Caitlyn calling her name; she slipped out of the room and headed back, earnestly trying to forget everything.

* * *

It was going to be a boring day. He had two classes to teach today and knew that Mitchie would be in one of them.

God how he hated her right.

He was never going to get over what she'd done and rightly so. The lies she obviously fed him, and he being so starved for genuine friendship lapped on it like a lost little dog, believing every fucking word she said. Remembering the time spent with her only brought up feelings of resentment and bitterness. Ashamed as he was to admit it even to himself, somewhere in the deep quiet part of his soul, he still yearned for that intimate contact. The connection that they had he knew he'd never be able to recreate with anyone else and that made him hate her even more.

But luckily for him he was getting along well with Tess, and although sometimes she acted like a bitch, she at least didn't go around like a fraud, telling him sob stories. She recognised what Mitchie truly was, unlike the rest of the lot.

He'd changed, he was no longer the happy and content person that he would be with _her, _he was back to being the old Shane and anyone who wasn't happy, well tough, he didn't give a shit.

He didn't give a damn about anything or anyone, so screw them all. He hoped Nate and Jason were suffering for sending him to this godforsaken place, 'cause when he returned he would make them endure even more for forcing him into the worst summer of his life.

There was still a week and a half left before the Final Jam and then he'd be out of here. The only true thing he was looking forward to was finding the girl with the amazing voice who sang the most meaningful song he had ever heard. She was probably the only positive aspect left to this awful trip and he was determined to find her. At least he knew that whoever this girl was, she wouldn't hurt him like Mitchie did. She would be so much better than her and worth this entire wait.

He decided the only way he could console himself was by singing that song and making the day pass by as quickly as possible.

With that thought in mind he quickly made his way towards class to get everything ready.


	2. The Plottings Of A Corrupted Mind

_'cause i want it now, i want it now, give me your heart and your soul_

chapter two: the plottings of a corrupted mind

* * *

She casually leaned back against the wall, looking elegant, the noble aristocratic chiselled perfection, smoothly blended in with the Haute Cotour of modern times. She was the personification of grace and style, something that she knew everyone envied but also desired.

Her smooth flawless hands and those long graceful fingers were a statement to her heritage which was quite a stark contrast to the callous, rough texture often prided on by others but frowned on by her kind. She was perfect in every aspect, she knew this and so did others. It would seem highly arrogant to have such thoughts about ones self, but she saw it as simple confidence. Something you needed in this field.

Getting to the top wasn't easy, you had to break down every damn obstacle in your path, rip apart anything that threatened your position at the peak, because if you didn't, you'd get sucker punched and BAM before you even know it your gone. Out of the race. And screw ups like that weren't acceptable in her family. It was instilled in her from birth to always be the top, to make sure you succeeded in everything. Second positions were not good enough; you had to be the first because Tyler's never failed. That was the family rule.

Carefully eyeing each and every person in the room she silently amused herself through watching them try and fail miserably at trying to mimic the difficult dance routine displayed by the all famous and ever lasting Shane Gray.

The enigma called Shane Gray.

He was her new pet project.

She'd always admired him for being the famous persona that she so desperately wanted to be, but seeping slowly through her every breath and in every sugar coated, candy filled word was also the slight tinge of envy for his accomplishment of such a feat, but by far what pissed her off even further was that Fruit basket who went by the name of Mitchie and their previous companionship.

How she wanted to strangle her with all the force she could muster and present her oversized head on a silver platter as a gift to Shane. She knew both would laugh in glee over the sight, well she was sure she would anyway, although, she knew she was making progress with Shane and slowly convincing him that Mitchie was just a mere figment of his imagination, a speck of dust that doesn't need bothering over. Except, she started realising that this task was becoming even more difficult over time, as no matter how much Shane may have despised the little Bitch he still, for God alone knows what reason, refused to forget her. It was as if he hated her with all his being, but, and she wasn't sure about this, but, it appeared as if he craved her too. Silly isn't it? She knew that things were going to be pushed up by a notch and her effort had to improve. She needed to get Shane on her side; at least for once her mother wouldn't be able to refuse her any attention that way.

She straightened up, repositioning her self and focused on the moves. If she wanted to impress Shane she needed to get her head in the game.

Alas it was this sheer determination that allowed her to not realise that three other members, well beside Mitchie, were also missing from the class.

* * *

"We are going to get in so much trouble for this," Ella whispered furiously. She had been tricked in to believing that they were going to get ice-cream. She had believed Peggy's words at the time that is until she was dragged into the woods, trying to make their way towards the lake as carefully and quietly as possible.

Peggy was going to have to make up for this. Whether by hook or by crook.

"Deep shit more like, Ella. But no need to worry, nobody is going to find out,'' Peggy replied, trying to reassure her friend out of guilt for tricking her.

"Oh jeez, that just makes me feel so much better," she muttered sarcastically, before quickly glancing towards her left, afraid that something might just attack them. "You never told me why we're here in the first place. What exactly are we looking for?" she asked.

"Well, haven't you noticed how Tess has suddenly become even more horrid than she already was?" she asked, a slight frown appearing.

"Now that you mention it, yeah, she's become harsh and more vindictive than ever before. I never knew that a person could go even more further than the stage she was already at. You'd think that would be the highest peak for behaviour like that, but no once again Tess has surpassed all of our expectations." she scowled, as if frightened by such an idea, before enquiring. "Wait, what does Tess have to do with us being in the woods? No, don't tell me she sent us here on one of her twisted missions?" she yelled in shocked outrage.

Peggy grabbed her before she could form another word, most likely an expletive. "I never said that, I just wanted you to remind yourself on Tess's recent behaviour." Ella opened her mouth, clearly gearing up for an argument but Peggy hastily continued, not allowing her to have the opportunity. "But also, I want you to remind yourself about how Shane Gray has suddenly become her new accessory. Haven't you wondered why he's been hanging with her, why the hell they've suddenly become all buddy, buddy with one another?" She knew that Ella was starting to think along the same lines too, no longer confused, "And now Mitchie's suddenly gone all quiet and withdrawn along with Caitlyn becoming her tag along."

"You mean, Tess has been manipulating Shane?" The nod from Peggy was all she needed as confirmation. "Oh my god! So now that I've figured that out, I don't understand how this links to us being here?" she asked for the hundredth time.

"We're here because I want to know exactly why everything's gone wrong between the two. I like Mitchie and it's irritating to not know what's going through her mind." She obviously felt frustrated at the lack of communication between the two, and Ella was surprised to know that Peggy cared for the girl so much. Of course Ella liked Mitchie, she was nice and had an amazing voice but such genuine affection from Peggy was so hard to gain, it even took Ella time to develop a trusting relationship with her. This Mitchie must obviously be very important.

"In other words we're here to spy on Mitchie," Ella said, and Peggy gave her a mischievous smile. Obviously, they were going to be up to a lot of things in the next hour.

She couldn't wait

Peggy let go of her and both trotted along the worn out path that would lead them to some answers, or at least they hoped.

A small distance away two girls sat huddled together, one of whom was trying to convince the other to leave the place while the other remained miserable and unchanged, reluctant to leave.

"That's it, I've had enough of this crap," snapped Caitlyn in a very clipped manner. This was ridiculous. If she'd known that Shane the Pain would have had such an impact on Mitchie then she herself would willing have stapled Tess's mouth together before she could even utter those earth shattering words. She couldn't understand why Mitchie even allowed that boy to have an influence on her. Hello, he was just a boy. Alright, maybe he wasn't just any boy, but THE boy in a lot of teenage girl's eyes. But heck, the jerk straightened his hair that was for sure, hence there was seriously something wrong with him and he wasn't worth all this attention.

Boy was she going to put some sense into Mitchie!

"We are sitting in a freaking lonely, desolate place, where anyone could come and attack us, and all you give a fuck about is Shane," she said furiously, and yet there was no response. "Mitchie?" She shook her a bit and all she got was a cold and hard glare from her. God this was becoming so frustrating. "Are you even listening to me? I can't believe your letting him get to you." Still nothing. Fine she'd play dirty then.

"Do you know how happy you must be making Tess right now? She's probably jumping from joy along with Shane."

Ahh, so that got her attention. She knew it would, any mention of Tess and Shane in even the same sentence usually made Mitchie burn with fury and that couldn't be clearer than it was right now seeing as how her eyes were spitting fire and narrowed sharply.

"Don't even talk about her,' Mitchie spat out, irritated by her name.

"Oh, so your all anti-Tess, but not sweet old Shane, no, no he can't be at fault in any way right?" she muttered sarcastically and this made Mitchie scowl even further, if that was possible. "News flash Mitchie, he's just as much at fault as Tess is. If he really was your so called friend, if the time you spent with him mattered just as much as it had to you, then he wouldn't just jump to a conclusion, he'd find you and at least have the decency to question you rather than claim that your a liar." She was seething with anger now, but pleased with the look of realisation dawning upon Mitchie's features. She'd repeated this speech a thousand times and thank God she was getting through that thick skull of hers, finally.

"Maybe." She paused, as if carefully constructing her answer and clearing her thoughts before looking back at the lake, and again there was that look of hopelessness. "Maybe you're right. I guess I should just forget about him, obviously he doesn't care about me." Her lips quivered slightly, and Caitlyn knew she was on the verge of tears, but she knew that Mitchie needed to continue. It was the only time she'd ever speak about her true feelings over the matter and be able to move on. "I guess I need to stop doing this, hiding from him and avoiding classes." Caitlyn moved forwards and wrapped her arms around her, providing her with the comfort that her broken spirit refused to ask for. "I just wish he'd bothered asking me for what the truth really was, instead of making me as flawed beyond comprehension. Everything is just too overwhelming, I cant take it." The tears were running freely now, stubbornness had obviously lost out. It was so clear that she was confused over everything, but Caitlyn hoped this meltdown would at least clear the bad air up between them and things on their own accord would go back to being normal.

Or so she thought.

Hidden beyond their view, were two girls silently peering through the thick branches trying to remain as discreet as possible listening in on the conversation. Puzzled looks were accompanied by apparent curiosity as to the situation. But what was obviously running through both minds was the question; should they tell Shane or Tess?


	3. Just One Tilt?

_Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy! it is the green-eyed monster, which does mock the meat it feeds on _

chapter three: just one tilt?

* * *

Silence

Silence was all they heard.

Not a word was said between the two. Not a look glanced at the other.

The sounds of the birds melodious chirping instead felt like a gunshot aimed at their guilty hearts. Each step sounded like the resonance of a loud crunch in the desolate woods, and their breathing was dragged in sharp intakes before quickly whooshing out of their lungs while they stumbled around, trying to escape as quickly as possible.

Such silence was, of course, expected. Guilt is horrible. It slowly seeps its way into your veins, cutting off all other connections, and any form of sense. Instead, you're invaded with a feeling of intense shame and remorse over your actions. You're overtly disgusted with yourself. And that's exactly how they felt. It was one thing to simply spy on Mitchie, but it was daunting to realise that they were listening to a conversation that they had no right to overhear. These were deep personal thoughts, thoughts that could not be distributed to anyone. Feelings and emotions were clearly placed into each and every word uttered between the two girls and they had invaded that. Sure their intentions may have been good but still, the course of the events was quite a shock and both girls just wanted to get back to class as fast as possible.

However one question still remained. They'd silently established that this information could not in any way or form be revealed to Tess, because Tess would rip Mitchie apart into tatters. But the problem was trying to figure out if Shane should be told about this. It was disconcerting to know that Shane and Mitchie were in fact rather close, which would explain his hysterical behaviour in the cafeteria. Everyone had just assumed that his reaction was one of a typical pop star throwing a tantrum over something that had nothing to do with him. A way for him to get even more attention by making himself the centre of attention. Well surprise, surprise he did have something to do with the whole fiasco. And what confused them was, what was darling Mitchie doing with the arrogant Shane Gray? And exactly how did she manage to have time to form a relationship of some sorts?

The whole situation was like a Rubik's cube. Four sides of the puzzle had been solved. They now knew why Shane had further turned into an even bigger jerk and why Mitchie and Caitlyn were extremely sisterly with each other. The unsolved problem: what was Tess feeding Shane to manipulate him to such an extent, and why was Mitchie acting like a coward, hiding from him, and finally should they tell Shane?

They wanted to tell him. Then everything would be normal between the two, but they weren't sure as to how he would react. Believe them or call them liars, which could further tarnish Mitchie's reputation.

Finally the silence was broken by Ella, who huffed out a whine before stating, "Hate to say it, but I told you so. I clearly said it before this shit happened, that we are going to get in trouble for this! And look, we are in trouble, aren't we?"

"Ella, nobody needs a snotty know it all right now, instead what we need to figure out is what we should be doing about this delicate piece of information." She carefully manoeuvred a branch out of the way so that Ella could easily slip though, before continuing on with their journey. "I mean the question is Ella, what on earth are we going to do? Now that we've figured out what was going on behind the scenes, do we make a move and correct the problem?" she asked, worriedly.

Ella however looked completely shocked hearing these words. "Peggy, is it even necessary for us to get involved? Let's just forget that we heard any of this and leave it up to Shane and Mitchie to figure this out themselves." Of course, this only earned her a glare from Peggy, who plainly did not feel the same way. They were getting closer to the clearing as bright rays of sunlight were infiltrating the once blurry surroundings. "Oh, come on, don't look at me like that. We have got nothing to do with any of this," she said sternly.

The open area and classroom were becoming more visible. "Ella, we need to do something. We eaves dropped on their conversation, and the least we could do is fix some of this. I like Mitchie, and Tess isn't someone who I want to help by remaining quiet, and I'm sure neither do you. This leaves us with only one opti-"

She stopped midway through her sentence. They'd bumped into a Mitchie and Caitlyn.

"Why have you stopped talki-' Ella immediately bumped into Peggy's back, before straightening up and only just realising their present company. "Oh, hey Mitchie," she said in an obviously false cheery tone, while holding Peggy's arm in a tight grip. "Nice seeing you guys."

_Awkward, _she thought.

Similarly Mitchie looked very uncomfortable and was for some strange reason blushing. Caitlyn, however, simply stared at them confidently, not bothered a single bit by their position.

"Hey," Mitchie mumbled before Caitlyn took over.

"So, what are you guys doing here?" she asked, eyeing them carefully. "Didn't know you were into the woods. Aren't you missing class?" Her interest had sparked, which only made Ella squirm even more.

"Well, aren't you missing class, too?" Peggy countered back.

It was as if a silent agreement had taken place between all four girls, because the topic was no longer pursued and all four slowly trotted their way towards class.

* * *

Music could be heard as their steps gradually brought them closer.

_So, Tess and Shane were having fun, _was the only thought that ran through Mitchie's mind.

That was it; she wasn't going to let him get to her. Caitlyn was right, and as long as she had her friend with her she wouldn't allow Shane to have the satisfaction. They were standing outside the classroom, all she had to do was climb up those four steps and she'd be in there facing him.

Peggy and Ella were the first to climb those steps, pushing the doors forward and letting the air gently sweep the heavy sounds of music out of the classroom. The brief glimpse she caught of the room allowed her to see Tess and Shane locked in a close embrace.

_Great _

It was her turn now, and feeling Caitlyn nudge her gently was enough for her to finally make the move forward and enter the room right behind Peggy.

The phrase holy fuck was an understatement.

Music was blaring loudly and everyone was in tune to the movements. Hips swaying, arms sliding out and Shane not realising that she had stepped into the room was enough to tick her off.

God they looked so perfect together; Eros and Psyche was what they reminded her of. So driven into one another that they seemed to have forgotten the outside world, including, the four of them who were standing there looking like idiots as far as she could guess.

It was only the high pitched shriek coming from Lola who was partnered with Baron, as she headed towards Ella that got their attention. It was Shane that spotted them first, his eyes locking with Caitlyn before he finally looked at her, face going awdully blank.

Surprise was clear on his face when he noticed how she refused to look away from him. Well, she was surprised she had the courage to actually pull it off.

"You're late," he said, scowling at Peggy as he made sure to direct the statement towards her.

Tess was enjoying the moment, gearing up to make it even more bitter. "You'd think that people would be glad that Shane Gray," and oh how she said his name in such a sickeningly sweet tone, "has bothered to take his time and teach us. Obviously they don't appreciate your effort, Shane," she cooed lovingly, before giving a dirty look to all of them, including Ella and Peggy. Wait, what was going on between them?

"Forget it Tess, I don't really care about people who are fake," he snapped, before turning back to the rest of the group, who were intently watching the interaction.

Before Mitchie even knew what was happening Caitlyn decided to argue back. "And this is coming from the guy, and I use that term loosely," she said harshly, "who believes every little piece of shit that's being fed to him."

"What did you call him?" Tess said quietly,voice dangerously calm.

But Shane pulled her back before she could take a step towards Caitlyn. Ella and Peggy secretly shared a look.

"Leave it Tess," he said placatingly before turning back to Caitlyn and Mitchie. "I don't think I want to hear what you have to say.' He shot Mitchie a filthy look. ''She can't even defend herself, instead needing you to spread even more of her lies."

Ok, she knew she needed to open her mouth at this point, because the asshole was actually right.

"Forget it Caitlyn, we need to leave this place anyway." Mitchie grabbed her arm, trying to get them outside until he spoke this time to her, looking right at her for the first time throughout this whole conversation.

"Just what I expected, running away as usual," he said, voice acerbic, and posture challenging her for a confrontation.

She let go of Caitlyn before taking a step forward, frankly speaking she was getting sick of hearing the same story from him. He needed to be yanked down hard and brought back to reality.

"Don't try to turn this on me Shane. You're the one who believed everything spoken against me."

He took a step towards her. "Because you lied to Tess, to Ella, Peggy, every damn person in this room believed your words. So I have every right to turn this on you, Mitchie," he said coldly. His fists were clenched at his sides.

God, it was the first time he'd said her name. She'd forgotten how lovely it sounded coming out of his mouth, hot and burning its way through her skin.

"You're doing it again, acting like a jerk. You could have had the decency to ask me." She was finally letting her feeling on the situation out, confronting him about his betrayal made her fear that she might just break down in tears. "I don't understand what me lying to Tess or anyone else for the matter has to do with you and me?" This was what she wanted to know so badly, needed to know, because no one would provide her with the answers except him.

* * *

He wanted her to rot in hell right now, she was pulling the innocent game, acting all naïve and like a lost dove. Well he wasn't having it.

"Just shut up." He lurched forward yanking her by the elbows pulling her towards him, making sure they were eye to eye. "We are not talking about this. You know exactly what you did. Do not try to make yourself the innocent one here. You were wrong Mitchie, fucking wrong."

"You're saying the time we spent meant nothing to you? You're going to overlook everything and not even give me a chance?" She was straining against him, but he refused to release her, instead tightening his grip on her.

He barked out a laugh, that sounded more like a painful sob. "Of course it doesn't, a girl like you isn't worth it." But she could tell he was lying, but hearing that still hurt. Knowing that he could lie to her so easily created a raw, deep pain that nothing could ease away. In the distance she could see Tess smirking. And yet he still hadn't let her go, only now did she realise how close they were, their bodies brushing together, and skin yearning to be felt. He was staring at her so carefully as if trying to decipher what she was thinking, she only just realised that the room had gone deadly silent, anticipating their next move.

Their breaths were coming in harsh pants, mingling with one another. Every inch of her was in some way touched by him. If she tilted to the right, just slightly, she could brush her lips against his. If she moved just an inch forward she could reach him. Her gaze slid down to his lip before rising once more to look him in the eyes, and she knew that he was thinking the same.

Just one tilt.

And slowly, excruciatingly slowly, at an agonising pace he leaned forward, shortening the distance between them.


	4. This Aint Just Lust

_methought a serpent ate my heart away, and you sat smiling at his cruel prey _

chapter four: this ain't just lust

* * *

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

That's how the tune went, loud and clear.

It was the beat of her heart.

Her heart was beating erratically, refusing to calm down. The sound was like a loud bang in her ears. She could imagine it so clearly, clenching and unclenching, tunnelling the crimson liquid to her brain, insistent on getting her to make sense, to see through the sudden haze of lust.

Except, nothing made sense. It was as if time had slowed down, everything playing out in slow motion, while the room remained in pin drop silence. His lips were descending upon her, inching closer and closer, for what? She wasn't so sure. Inkling was all she had, a kiss? A brush of the lips? The touching of cheeks? What?

But somewhere, deep in the locked up chamber of her heart, where all her fears and hopes were disposed, she secretly yearned for him to kiss her, for the intimate contact of flesh so that he realised this was so much more.

She needed something, anything, just something to happen, to ease the ache.

She just needed, full stop!

Suffice to say, it surprised her that her feelings for him were suddenly heading towards this direction. He was simply her friend, since when the hell did it matter if he kissed her? Did it matter if he felt more for her?

But it never came; instead he inched towards her left, brushing his cheek against her, elegantly gliding it forward, his hair melding with hers, the stark contrast of Black with her pale skin, which immediately caused a rush of tingling sensations, gripping her nerves in the most erotic experience, causing adrenalin to effortlessly soar into her nerve endings. While his right hand still held on to her wrist tightly, his left travelled slowly along her arm causing Goosebumps to erupt all along her skin and she shivered in anticipation as it snaked it's way into her hair, gently tilting her head to the right. At the same time his right hand slowly stroked her pulse point, she knew he could feel the wild chanting of her heart as it whispered and worshipped his name alone, he was probably smirking in his mind.

But what disturbed her, were the words that flowed through his angelic lips, because those words did not match his actions.

As his lips brushed against her ear, he slowly whispered, "Did you really think I was going to do it?" He said cruelly, breath burshing hot and wicked against her skin. Somewhere in the backdrop she could hear a few gasps, as if they'd only just realised what was running through dirty Mitchie's mind.

In that moment she froze. He had brought her this far, to the brink of the edge where she was yearning, no, practically panting for him to do something, to tame these wild emotions and instead the bastard gave her nothing, he was just stringing her along. She could practically see Tess cackling with pleasure. She needed to distance herself from him before she could further make a fool of herself. God, he had actually known what she wanted, and instead of giving it to her he taunted her with those innocent feelings. He might as well have slapped her hard across the face. Because that's how it felt.

It stung.

So she tried to pull herself back, to release herself form this sick game, except he wasn't having any of that. Instead, he pulled her in even more tightly than she could possibly imagine.

She narrowed her eyes placing her hand on his shoulder to steady herself, before she fell smack down on the floor."I was obviously delusional, Shane. Clearly you wanted this for a moment too though." That's when she saw the hardness in his eyes shimmer, because she was right. He'd wanted it too and no way in hell would she let him get away for playing with her. True she had lied, but her errors weren't purposely done to hurt others, his actions on the other hand were intentionally carried out. He wanted to embarrass her, that much was plain.

He still had his hand in her hair, his grip tightened even further. "Only, I would do this with a girl who mattered to me, and she would know how much I feel for her through every touch of mine, in every caress, in every brush she would know. But you're not her," he said sharply.

She wanted to hurt him right now, he'd insulted her even further than possible, he was acting so egotistical. "Funny thing is, no one would want to be with you,"she said vsciously. Bingo, she'd hit the jackpot. "Anyone who would willingly be with you, would only do so to get close to Shane Gray, the famous singer, not Shane the real person, the one who feels just like any other, the one who wants so badly to have friends."

She'd gotten him because there, behind those russet coloured eyes was the briefest flicker of hurt, but also betrayal. Tough, she was going to bring him down hard. At the speed that it came in, it instantly vanished too, bringing out a frown. "But that's enough for me, because I'd rather have that than you," he stated plainly, with obvious clarity on the matter.

He was lying through his teeth.

"You're just an asshole, Shane, did you know that?" The red warning signs were blaring through her mind, shrieking for her to shut the hell up, but she paid no heed. "You couldn't affect anyone. No girl in her right mind would react to your touch, she wouldn't even want to be kissed by you," she yelled at the top of her voice, audience completely forgotten by both of them, not giving a fuck that this would be spread through the grape vine like hot fire.

How ironic, they were now so immersed into one another as he and Tess were, except it was for all the wrong reasons. They weren't Eros and Psyche, instead their roles were reversed to Hades and Persephone. He was the dark god, with his wavy jet black hair and a face so flawless that clearly god must have sculpted him on his best day. And right now those features were angry at her refusal.

"Is that so?" he asked, voice so dangerously calm and so close that she feared he was about to do something irrational. "Is that was you think, that I couldn't affect anyone, not even you?"

Shit, all those emotions, the ones that had disappeared as anger clawed it's way through, came rushing back, the fuel pumping through her hard.

"Yes," she whispered, quite scared.

Fuck, his hand yanked her hair forward, long fingers slanting her face for the last time and this time with a relatively striking speed his lips crashed into hers, closing in on any distance that they may have had. She could faintly hear gasps, a whoop and a high pitched shriek. Tess.

His arm carefully twisted itself around her waist making their bodies rubbing against one another causing heated friction- she was surprised their clothes didn't just melt off. Blood was rushing through her veins causing her to heat up and feel every little touch to the tenth. Her heart suddenly restarted itself, pleading with her to stop. His lips were so soft, and the way they meshed into her contours just only made her regret her words, it's as if they fit perfectly, like yin and yang. He paused for a beat as he felt her breasts straining against his chest, as if they wanted to be stroked, instead he squeezed her hip harshly causing her to gasp and just like that, before she could even draw in an agonising breath, he slipped in stealthily quickly finding his other half, the part that he was so anxiously searching for, and instantly she felt the brush of his tongue against hers.

Oh, she was lost.

Head over heels lost.

She let in to her feelings, letting her hands take control as they slowly bushed their way up his chest, and wait was that a moan? She wasn't certain considering how lost they were at this point, but she could have sworn that he had moaned as she was brushing his chest. Somehow, by using logic, God knows how at this point, she repeated the action again and there it was, that needy moan.

He was enjoying this and she had the power to make him feel like that. She felt his tongue leisurely stroke her bottom lip before biting down hard on it, tugging her bottom lip to further heights of pleasure and carefully her fingers sifted themselves into those inky black strands of silk, tugging him down even more. She hadn't realised but they were making their way backwards because all of a sudden her back hit the wall and the contact was lost as they pulled apart, eyes glazed and lips plump.

Both were panting heavily at the exertion. His hair was wild and tussled, like the post sex look magnified to the max and his cheeks were flushed, lips bitten red.

She must have looked like that too.

His fingers ghosted across his lips, as if he was in shock at what had just transpired between them, before he looked down at her lips frowning slightly. As quick as the whole thing happened, he let her go like she had some sort of disease and automatically she felt the loss of contact. He threw her a disgusted look before dragging his hands through his hair, and finally whispered,

"Now you know how it feels," he said with anger and stormed out.

What did that mean?

Did he just use her?

Did this mean nothing to him?

He had managed to evoke all these emotion out of her, make her feel wanted for once before quickly snatching all those feelings away, stranding her in the dark, lonely and miserable. Gosh, she definitely fit the part of Persephone. He'd forced her into this when she was least expecting it, then immediately turned into a bastard, using her to make a point. Was that all she'd ever meant to him then, because if she truly had mattered to him he would have never fallen so low. He would have never degraded her, in front of so many.

Only now had she realised that she was in a room filled with people who had mostly been entertained by the incident, making her feel like even more crap.

Catiylyn touched her arm, pullling her back to the real word.


	5. I'll Make Believe

Thank you so much for those lovely reviews, it's what pushed me to work extra hard on this chapter.

This chapter was meant to be posted yesterday, but Shane was becoming a problem to write. Disney doesn't really provide us with a lot of information on these characters. To now have to write about Shane, that too trying to figure out his emotions is very difficult. Now my interpretation of him might make you hate him, and yet, I hope also allow you to understand him slightly better for why he acts the way he does. I mean I see him as a badass bastard, really.

Therefore I hope you like this chapter as it was extremely hard, and apologies for the delay. Also, some of you are asking why is this rated M? Well, maybe beacause I might just have sex in it! But the question is will it be sweet and tender, or the rough and angsty type that we all secretly like?

* * *

_'I am inhabited by a cry.  
Nightly it flaps out  
looking, with its hooks, for something to love._

_I am terrified by this dark thing  
that sleeps in me;  
all day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.'_

- Sylvia Plath:_ Elm_

__ _ __

_There are no flowers, no, not this time  
There will be no angels gracing the lines  
Just these stark words I find  
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you could I only speak  
Just how much this hurts me_

AFI: _This Time Imperfect_

__ _ __

**Chapter Five: I'll Make Believe**

Idolisation

A powerful aspect of human life.

Throughout our whole lives we're idolising someone or another, whether it be our favourite stars, our heroes, the people who inspire us or people who we aspire to become because they are what we yearn to be.

But somehow it's also the beginning of the end.

Without realising what we're doing we start worshipping these creatures, who are simply human beings, just as flawed as we are. They suddenly become the purpose of our life; we eat, sleep and breathe through these idols and think about them without considering the ramifications. And yes, there are consequences for these actions. We might not consider them; in fact many times it is simply seen as harmless adoration, except it isn't.

In comes the God complex.

Without a single thought these people begin to react to all this attention, this adulation begins to suddenly transform them into, not humans, but mythical creatures that are larger than life. People who can do no wrong and soon begins the downfall. Sometimes when we are younger we wonder whether mermaids actually exist, do they really live and breathe under water? Or maybe on that rare day when you reach that certain stage where you're slightly asleep and yet you're aware of your surroundings and you wonder if Peter Pan will come take you to finally see that beautiful place where all your dreams can come true; Never-Never land. These are the things that we hunger for when we're younger, that we wished were true so badly, and exactly in that same way our idols become these desires, except now they exist.

For it is this simple worship that makes them think that they are far more bigger than reality, that they can do no wrong, that they are god. Arrogance takes on a whole new level because these people are not just anybody, they are better than everybody, and it is this ignorance that leads them to believe that they are god, superior beyond imagination. Suddenly everything is within your grasp; you can have anything you want without considering the consequences. You are the personification of perfection; therefore everything deserves to be rightfully yours.

But here's where the plan went wrong for Shane Gray. For in this picture he could have everything; Money, power, fame, but he couldn't have something called a friend. It was a humiliating matter to know that he could easily have hoards of girls in the palm of his hands with a snap of a finger, but not a single person would willingly ignore everything about him and just want to know what made him a human.

It hurt to know that no one felt anything genuine for him, was he wrong? Did he lack a certain spark in his personality that made girls not care for him? Day in and day out he'd relentlessly questions himself, torturing his mind beyond understanding, trying desperately to realize what was it that made him different. But he refused to let anyone know what was going on in his mind, it was essential that he upheld his image no matter what was running through that strange mind of his.

And then he started to play a secret game. Whenever someone would suddenly start paying interest in him, not just the typical girls who merely wanted a good shag and a night of delicious fun, but rather those who wanted to try and change the "bad boy" into something more, he would manipulate them. The aim of the game was to tear them apart as fast and quick as possible. He would test their limits, see how far he could push them, use them and hurt them. Eventually they'd typically break down and leave, shocked by his callous understanding. In effect he'd destroy any potential relationships, but that was expected because of never being in a proper relationship he'd never truly understood the way to deal with it. He may have wished for a proper companion, but that didn't necessarily mean that he could cope with it.

But then came Mitchie.

He thought of her as any other girl in the crowd, not worth any attention or respect, that was until she backhanded him back to reality. Standing there in the kitchen covered in white crap, he'd been dumbstruck by this creep of a woman. It was surprising to realise that she wanted to just talk with him, nothing more nothing less and frankly it was downright scary to have to deal with that. He'd had no experience in the department of friendship, sure he was friends with Nate and Jason but that was a completely different matter. Dealing with Mitchie was different, she never asked him how rich he was, how it felt to have everything. Instead her focus was more on emotions. Her questions would vary from; what's it like when your're about to take the stage, does your stomach feel queasy, cause mine would? Or, have you ever slammed your finger in the window, hurts don't it? In the beginning he'd think they were the most stupidest question to be asking him, and would simply wish that she'd shut the hell up, except lord knows how, within the blink of an eye secretly those questions would bring a thrill to his whole body and in his room he'd smile like a fool knowing that for once he was getting the most intense feelings he'd ever had and having a normal conversation.

And that's when it all started to go wrong.

His feelings were suddenly out of control. He wanted to be with her so badly at times that it was hard to maintain any composure and yet he hated her for putting him through this, and her being the oblivious fool that she was, had no idea what affect she was having on him. One minute she was simply a friend. Nothing more than that and the next he would be panicking upon her arrival furiously trying to sift his fingers through his hair trying to make sure they looked good around her. It suddenly became too much to be in the same room as her, watching her innocently twirl her fingers around her hair while his heart would suddenly beat wildly out of control. He realised that he needed to deal with these feelings fast, because it was clear that her feelings for him were purely platonic. It frustrated him beyond comprehension seeing her goofing around with him while he craved for it to be something more. She was his forbidden fruit, sitting there, gleaming red luring him into a bite but every time he'd come within a reaching distance she'd engulf into flames. How these dramatic feelings arose, he had no idea but they were there and needed to be gone. And it was with those intentions that he'd gone to, well, end this thing between them. Unfortunately, it was him who ended into a million pieces when he heard Tess screaming out the truth about her.

It made him a hypocrite, he knew this. There he was moping over her actions and yet he was the one who had initially wanted to end this thing, friendship or whatever it was, between them. His pride wanted him to ignore it, his head screamed for him to get a grip and realise there was a rather eager Tess waiting for him but none of that won over his feelings; he missed her furiously.

And then he'd gone and fucked it all up by kissing her. Why did he do that? He had no fucking clue as to why he'd committed such a ridiculous act. Those were never his intentions; he just wanted her out the room as fast as possible. It's why his hate for her was so intense, because she made him think the most sinful things in this world and by having her closer would only make him loose the very little self-control he'd maintained throughout this whole period. Except, there she was taunting him, claiming that he wasn't tempting in the least bit, that he could never affect her in any way, that he couldn't even arouse her to complete sexual frustration, to such a point where she would be moaning his name alone. It was as if a switch went off, he suddenly wanted to know what it would be like to make her feel all these feelings that she was punishing him with. He wanted her to suffer, to burn with his taste and the knowledge that only he had the power to do that to her, and so he'd done it. He'd committed the act without thinking of the consequences.

Despite all the pain he was going through right now, he was rather pleased that he'd done it. Kissing her was like having a taste of the most rarest wine, an exquisite piece only made for the right person, and god was she right for him. But then when he'd pulled back he was sickened with himself, disgusted that he'd done such thing. After all that self restraint he was back to square one. The most shocking thing out of all of this was watching her face and knowing that she was extremely aroused; she had either lied to him or hadn't understood her own feelings of the whole situation. And that was a ray of hope for him, because maybe, just maybe she might actually feel something more for him and not even realise it. So, in complete Shane randomness he'd gone and said "Now you know what it feels like," and what did he mean by that? He wasn't so sure, but watching her like that and knowing that there was such bitterness between them, he knew that she was out of his grasp. Maybe that's what he was trying to say, she now knew what it felt like to want something and not be able to have it, because it was blatantly obvious that she needed him in that moment just as he'd wanted her for a much longer time. And what was the point of telling her this? So she could realise what he'd gone through and endure just like him.

And so, there he was sitting on his bed staring at the ceiling, when he turned to look out the window out of curiosity that he saw a rather surprising sight.

_ _ _

In another room, a few meters away a very pissed off blonde was fuming, clearly ticked at the days events, while two other girls were standing there, miserably suffering, wishing for a way of escape.

"I cannot believe this!" screamed Tess as she paced the room back and forth, shocked at what had transpired between Mitchie and Shane, and here she thought she was making so much progress, "Since when were these two together? I thought they hated each other?" she demanded, her voice reaching a new level, quite beyond their level of understanding.

Ella and Peggy stood there watching the girl they were forced to obey at this point or else they'd have their heads chopped off, for the girl was well known for her temper.

"We don't know, Tess" stated Peggy in a particularly confident voice, one that Ella never knew her friend possessed, considering the terrible situation.

"Well clearly you need to find out" she snapped, irritated at their aloofness towards the whole fiasco.

"And why would we need to find out?" questioned Ella, "There's no need for us to get involved in this" she said without realising the consequences of such a factual statement.

"I beg your pardon?" said Tess in a very arrogant tone, "You have every need to get involved in this, because this clearly affects me, therefore you must figure out how the hell they managed to develop a friendship in the first Fucking Place," she ended in a high shriek.

Both girls glanced at one another, oh they knew the answer as to how the friendship developed, they just weren't sure how they'd mange to get out of this one without being detected.

"All my work, all my work will go to ruins if they get together" she moaned, furious at the injustice of fate, "I just need to prevent this from going any further, I just need some…" and then she stopped, for she had seen the answer right through her spotless, highly polished, gleaming like water window. It seemed the lord had answered her prayers, "Checkmate" she whispered in pleasure.

And as Ella and Peggy curiously made their way towards the window, they saw Mitchie securely and very comfortably wrapped in the arms of a certain Nate, bawling her eyes out onto his shoulders and it was then that they realised now was the time to take action, before things became even worse.

Little did they realise that Mr Shane Gray was at that very point watching this from his window, a deep scowl set into his features, getting ready to destroy both of them.

* * *

_So, your review would really be appreciated, because writing this was just so hard._


	6. You oughta know

I'm still quite shocked that you guys like this story, I seem to be in a daze right now. I felt that no one would enjoy this so it's quite a surprise to me and I'm so very lucky to have such amazing reviewers like you guys!! So thank you for those lovely reviews, they really push me to work harder every time.

I'm slightly worried that some may not like this chapter, maybe thinking that it's too fast, but I know your going to love Caitlyn, at least I hope so.

* * *

'_In old days there were angels who came and took men by the hand and led them away from the city of destruction. We see no white-winged angels now. But yet men are led away from threatening destruction: a hand is put into theirs, which leads them forth gently towards a calm and bright land, so that they look no more backward; and the hand may be a little child's.'_

George Eliot:_ Silas Marner_

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**Chapter Six: You Oughta Know**

"Ella, are you sure this is the place?" asked Peggy doubtfully.

They were standing in a long corridor, while the fading rays of sunlight tried their hardest to brighten the rather dim looking hallway. To their left was an old room used for stocking out of use equipment, while slightly ahead was a single door in this lonely expanse of space. The door had remained firmly shut throughout the whole time and not a single sound could be heard from the room.

"Yes Peggy, how many times do I have to tell you? This is the place that she told us to meet her, I didn't just randomly bring you out here, you know," she complained at the lack of faith her friend seemed to be showing in her, honestly, she wasn't Tess!

"I'm sorry Ella, it's just, we've been standing here for five minutes and she still hasn't come yet" she was frustrated that she was taking her time in coming to meet them, for goodness sake didn't she realise they were sacrificial lambs in this whole plan, Tess would skin them alive if she discovered where they were.

"Don't worry, Tess wont realise we're here, and even if she did, so what? We're not pawns that she can screw with and use" Ella said quietly, as if knowing what was running through Peggy's mind.

Ella leaned back against the wall, silently tapping the heel of her foot against the wall, trying to pass the time by since it was becoming rather boring, and on top there was always the fear that someone might just come out of the room, thus making the whole plan fall into ruins. Silence stretched on it seemed forever, before both girls heard the distant sound of footsteps echoing through the quiet corridor coming towards them from their left, until they finally spotted her.

"About time, we thought you were going to take forever," it was obvious that Peggy was feeling extremely irritated, as she snapped out the sentence.

"There was no "we"," countered Ella, smoothly, "You were the one who was fidgeting about so much," she stated, before turning around towards the girl and only just hearing Peggy mumble, "Traitor" quietly.

"Anyway, should we do it now, Caitlyn? Because we know Tess is already planning to make a move." she asked.

Caitlyn leaned slightly towards the left carefully watching the door to the lonely room, as if inspecting for any signs of life, before coming to a decision, "Yeah, now would be the perfect opportunity to do it." She eyed both girls, like she was checking them for their strength and courage and if they could deal with what was about to occur, "Do you think you can handle it? I mean this is a tricky situation, one that can get you in a lot of trouble if caught, in particular by Tess" she enquired, concerned for these two girls who were putting themselves in a lot of deep shit, considering it had nothing to do with them. Alas friendships were like this, extremely confusing and so fucking testing it was hard to keep up with the rules. Ask her, she was obviously in a rut.

Damn Loyalty!

"Of course we can handle it," Peggy said with assurance, "We've come too far and it's about time that we did something"

"Yeah," agreed Ella, "Frankly speaking, we're getting tired of Tess and her screwed up morals. So we're sticking to the plan?" she gained a nod from Caitlyn, which confirmed the question before further asking, "When does he come out?"

"Any minute now, well at least I hope. I know he's pissed so he'll definitely come out to hunt" she finished with glee.

"Oh god, I hope he doesn't jump to conclusions. Why do boys have to be so temperamental?" said Ella.

"That's a mystery we'll never figure out, but I think it's because they have a Dick," said Peggy matter-of-factly, which resulted in all three girls to snicker quietly. The happy and innocent moment was lost when they heard the door open and they saw their target.

"You know what to do, so get in place when I count to three," She whispered.

"One-Two--Three"

They launched like silver speed, whipping into the body. The quick shuffling of feet could be heard, and the thud of a body landing on the hard floor ricocheted throughout the lonely space, a few curses were blown here and there but that didn't mean much to the girls as the end product was worth it.

God, it was a picture perfect, Kodak moment.

If a stranger had walked in they would have found the scene exceptionally hilarious. There on the floor, lay an extremely roughened, highly scruffy and very livid Shane Gray. His face was flushed from the unexpected attack and his hair was dishevelled as if someone had yanked him down hard by the roots, clearly those precious hair must have suffered. While Ella and Peggy had a grip on each of his arms, preventing him from any release, and finally looking extremely proud with herself was Caitlyn, securely positioned on his chest, all her weight heavily pressed against his lungs and her hands placed upon his shoulders making sure that he didn't make a single move.

What a sight it truly was.

But the act needed to be done. Tough times called for tough measures and these had become difficult times where Shane was becoming very stubborn with handling the situation. Caitlyn did feel guilty for doing what she was about to do, Mitchie would obviously kill her, but as far as she could tell neither of them were going to bother making a move so it now was in her hands.

"Get your fucking butt off me now, Caitlyn" yelled Shane, which only made Caitlyn raise her eyebrow and smirk at him. It was lovely to know that the position of power had switched, it was as if Shane was the puppet and Caitlyn was the one pulling the strings, and she wasn't just going to pull those strings kindly she was going to rip them apart with cold-blooded elegance.

"I don't think you have the privilege to be asking me that. You and I have a lot of talking to do buddy" she said, her face positively glowing with joy.

"Get off me now!" he demanded, and struggled against her which only made her lean against him more deeply, making it harder for him to breathe with all the physical exertion he was forcing himself through. "You fucking psycho bitches, you've lost it I'm Shane Gray, you can't get away with this," he yelled at the top of his voice.

"You know, the more you fight against this the harder it will get, wont it girls?" she looked at Ella and Peggy who were also enjoying watching Shane squirm for control.

"Of course" they said in agreement.

"What the hell do you want then?" he shrieked, he'd stopped moving about as if he'd give up on the whole situation.

Gone was the chipper Caitlyn, now she spoke with a harsh and bitter voice, resentment heavy in every word, her face set into hard stone, "You know exactly why I'm here Shane, so stop acting as if you're the innocent one. I want you to open your fucking eyes and start paying attention to what the hell is going on around you" his face deepened into a scowl and his lips curled into an angry snarl, "Do you realise the shit your putting Mitchie through? Any pain that she may have given you is nothing compared to the agony you've put her through."

"This is none of your God damn business!"

"Everything is my business. When will you stop acting like the jerk that you are?" she commanded in anger.

"Of course you're sticking up for her, she's the only friend you have what other option have you got. But you don't know what I went through; I thought she cared for me, that I meant something to her because if she cared she wouldn't lie"

"Are you even listening to yourself," she asked in shock at how dense his thinking was, "She lied, but to Tess, this has got nothing to do with you," she screamed in frustration, "Why are you generalising this to you?"

"If she lied to everyone else, then she must have lied to me" he finished as if that would justify his whole take on the situation.

"You didn't even give her a chance to explain herself, you just started accusing. There was nothing that she lied to you about, nothing you hear me"

"Really, so what is she doing in the arms of Nate then? If it meant anything to her she should have come to me," he quickly rushed out the last sentence before looking up at the ceiling in fascination.

There was an awkward silence filled with deep confusion. What the hell did he mean?

"What?" said Ella feeling very perplexed.

"What on earth does that mean? You wanted her to come to you?" asked Caitlyn, she paused for a moment registering the thought before she let out a rich throaty laugh filled with secrets, "Wait, wait do I sense ….jealousy?"

"No" he instantly bit back.

Boy was he in denial.

"Well stupid little Shane, tell me what would possess her mind to make her come to you when you were the first one to put her in that place? But since your not jealous" and she put heavy emphasis on the word jealous, "it doesn't matter if she's wrapped in the arms of a certain Nate, because at least he'd treat her properly, you've given her nothing but tears"

At this he laughed, amused by this declaration, "Nate would never go out with her. He knows who she is. I told him about her from the first day I met her so he knows everything,"

"Well clearly he's on her side then, isn't he? Because that's why she turned to him for comfort, didn't she Shane?" she inched herself closer to him, so close that she could practically feel his sweet breath filling her senses, "But the question is how does that make you feel? Are you pissed to know that she's in the arms of another man, that you've lost the one chance you had at a decent relationship," she grabbed a fistful of his shirt, jerking him forward so that they were nose to nose, before whispering ruthlessly the words that he most likely didn't want to hear, "If I see you anywhere near her Shane, I don't even want your breath mixing in the same room as her, because If I do I will castrate you, I will shred you into a million pieces if I have to. Unless you want to fix the mess you've created I suggest you fuck yourself,"

And with that, she let go of his shirt letting his head fall back like a rag doll no longer wanted by a spoiled child, used and neglected. She lifted herself off him, and on cue Ella and Peggy let go of his arms taking a step back, clearly frightened by the girl and the dark mood she was in.

"Lets go." she threw him a look filled with disgust before spinning on her heels and heading in the opposite direction, closely followed by Ella and Peggy.

It was as if an eternity passed by before they heard the quiet sound of a voice filled with hesitant remorse.

"Where is she?" asked Shane, as he leaned on his elbows still lying flat on his back, watching them with eyes filled with clouded emotions.

Caitlyn watched him slowly, scrutinising his question as if trying to determine whether his intentions were right.

"She's in the room that you teach in," she answered as Ella and Peggy gave her confused looks, "With Nate," she then stormed off leaving him to his own thoughts, feeling quite disturbed at the event.

_ _ _

Nate was not having a very good day.

One: he had to sit with Jason throughout the whole car ride and listen to his theory on why the Birdhouse is such an exceptional creation.

Two: he managed to rip his favourite jacket.

Three: did he mention that he had to listen to Jason's Discovery channel documentary on how Birds mate?

He was scarred for life.

And four; some random chick had dragged him into playing the hero by having Shane's beloved Mitchie sobbing all over his shirt. Well this was so perfect, wasn't it? He could have sworn that Shane was into this girl and yet here she was bawling her eyes out over the dickless prick. When was Shane going to remember other people had feelings, he'd sent him here for a purpose and looking at the way things were going it seemed nothing had worked according to plan.

He gently rubbed his hand along her back hoping that she would feel better now that she'd let it all out. He'd brought her inside since it had started to rain, and it really was a difficult task trying to convince her to come inside and feel comfortable in his presence. Well that girl had said to bring her in here until Shane came. So here he was sitting there waiting for Jekyll and Hyde to finally come, while listening to the hard pounding of the rain. From the window he could see lightning streaking the sky like the spray of beautiful silvery light splattering a message into the black sky, every so often there was the boom and clap of thunder as it too tried to convey its pain at the world for its injustice.

The whole moment felt like a horror movie, the loud clap of thunder and the eerie light filtering into the room, while Mitchie lay silent against him, when the door suddenly swung open with such force that it banged into the wall and there stood the man of the moment.

"Get lost Nate, I need to talk to Mitchie!"

Shane.

* * *

_Hmmm, what is going to happen next?_

_What is that I smell? I'm not sure you guys, but if I sniff hard enough it might just be the smell of another bitter confrontation or maybe, just maybe, it could be something more?_


	7. Kiss Till We Bleed

**Sorry about this delay. It was that blasted other story that I was writing and I just had to post despite the fact that it was crap, so I'm very sorry it will never happen again! Scouts honour!**

**Once again thank you for those lovely reviews I swear it's the one thing that keeps me going.**

** I need to thank Mimi1rks (No, it's not that idea) who also happens to have a fantabulous story, which is so much more happier then this depressing shit, for telling me to "incorporate" ideas. So woman I hope I've done that correctly!**

**One thing that would mean a lot is, beside my regular reviewers, those people who seem to have put me on alert and yet never reviewed, come on can you review at least today, this chapter means quite a lot to me.**

**Anyway happy reading!**

* * *

_We don't talk much when there's so much to say  
We don't listen but yet we try anyway_

By Automatic Loveletter

August 28th 3;30 Am

Murder whispered its way onto his face.

Although his face remained fixed into an impassive expression giving no clue as to what was running through that elaborate mind of his, she however wasn't fooled by it. Beneath that eerie calmness he was fuming, a fire kindled beneath those whiskey coloured eyes and those hands were clenched into vicious fists that were prepared to do anything that needed to be done.

Nate, unlike her didn't look so disturbed by the threatening words, in fact it only seemed to build his courage, either that or he was a very foolish boy about to die young. He remained composed, looking Shane dead in the eye waiting for some other response from him while Shane seemed determined to not say a word.

He stood up, putting his hands into the pockets of his Levis before calmly asking, "And what do you want to talk to her about, Shane?"

"That's none of your business, Nate. Now I suggest you Piss off, before you receive any bodily harm from me," through some amazement, typically on her part, he had managed to say all of this without making a single sour expression, even ending the threat with a smile. Suddenly seeing him standing there behaving like that made him seem even less human than he already would appear to be so.

Nate simply let out a long suffering sigh, as if he were used to this side of Shane, "You're still the same, aren't you? You haven't changed a single bit," she felt the familiar rush of regret and disappointment coming through Nate's words, because she could tell that he'd clearly felt let down by Shane, "I hoped for some change in you, it's why I put you here hoping that it would make a difference but you've just become even more bitter,"

For the first time Shane showed a response to Nate's words, and it was mostly anger clearly written all over his face, with the way his eyebrows were drawn and his lip curled itself into a cruel smile, "Yeah, well guess what Nate? It's your entire fault that I'm like this. You forced me to come to this shit hole. You practically pushed me onto the road and dumped my arse here, assuming, for fuck knows what reason that I'd change. But you know what? If I appear fucked up to you, then it's your fault for hoping to make a difference, cause let me remind you Nate, hope is a nasty Bitch that will make you do ridiculous things in vain," she realised that when he started talking about hope those heated eyes of his would blatantly look towards her, daring her to contradict his belief. The sad thing was; she couldn't for he spoke the truth and nothing but the truth.

Hope was in itself a nasty little emotion to believe in, making you trust in things that could never truly happen, making you yearn for something that could never really be yours. No wonder when Pandora opened the jar, greed, vanity, slander, lying, envy and pining were the first things to escape allowing humans to fully explore their selfish and malicious desires, before finally Hope released itself, being the last thing it would be sufficient for it to be so rare and unattainable therefore making it that much more desirable. This was why she could unfortunately not refute those words.

Nate shifted his feet slightly, as if waiting for the right opportunity even though it was obvious that now was the point where he should just leave; she felt the sudden need to defend him.

"Shane you don't need to take it out on Nate, he's only trying to help you." This only earned her a dark glare and a rather sad and pitiful look. No guesses as to who gave which.

"Mitchie, I recommend that you butt yourself out, considering that your screwed enough as it is" Shane snapped at her before quickly turning back to Nate, "Get the hell out of here Nate or I'll drag you out of here."

God, he was so infuriating with his whole "Holier than Thou" attitude, she wanted to sock him in the eye. Well, she'd have quite a few words to say to him too, except not in front of Nate, she didn't want him to think badly of her.

Nate lifted his hands up in surrender, "I'll leave," and he headed towards the door, it looked as if he was deliberately taking his time, before he reached Shane and was standing right next to him, "But if I find out that you've done something to her, I will kill you Shane" and with that he headed out of the room only to pause one last time glancing back at Shane with a smirk gracing his lips, "She means a lot to me,"

Since when, was all she could think.

Jesus! Was that a growl erupting its way from Shane's mouth?

The tension was swarming the entire room, making her choke from every breath that she managed to inhale forcefully. He swiftly turned around, his face back to the dauntingly expressionless facade that he'd managed to maintain apart from the few heated moments. And that's when it happened, with agile speed and practice he had the door shut in a matter of seconds and the click of a lock reverberated throughout the deadly silent room and before she knew it he was watching her with an intense and direct stare, as if trying to see right through her skin and the pores that composed her entire outer layer, seeking an insight into her inner self. It was a look that left her feeling vulnerable and exposed. Only now did she remember the storm that continued to pound its way outside the window, while the mirrors reflected the bright streaks of lightning. But if she looked carefully into his eyes she could see the mercury reflect itself in his eyes, making it as if the storm reciprocated his mood.

The awkward silence was broken by Shane, "What were you doing with Nate?" he asked, as if he had the right to know.

So she decided the next best thing; refuse to answer. Instead she looked at the chipped paint as if it held the secrets to life because frankly speaking she couldn't stand being in the same room anymore and she wanted him to put up with it just as he made her suffer. 2 minutes went by like this where her eyes remained transfixed at the wall where as his remained permanently locked on her, refusing to budge.

Awkward took on a whole new level. This wasn't awkward this was sheer torture that he was deliberately putting her through.

He broke first.

"I came here for a reason, Mitchie." Again her lips remained firmly shut and eyes now glued to the mirrors, secretly stealing glances at him, until he caught her and looked her directly in the eye through the mirror.

Shit

"And obviously it needs to be done here with you and me alone in this room, without other interruption."

Now was the point where she needed to look without giving the impression of being a coward, except that train had past a long time ago.

"No Shane, you know what? I don't want to talk to you or whatever it is that you have planned," it was true, after waiting for so long to get something out of him it was now too late, "It's a little too late, I'm sick and tired of being labeled as the bad guy. I want to forget you because I just hat-"

He interrupted her before she could finish the sentence, asking in that frighteningly unruffled voice, "Why did you lie?"

That was the last thing she expected. She expected screaming, a few swears thrown in, but not that. The question was no longer centered on him but more asked in general. Simply put; why did she resort to lying?

"I accept that you didn't necessarily lie to me, so in essence I was partially wrong, but why did you lie to everyone else?"

She had nothing but fragmented silence.

"Weren't these people who were your friends, Mitchie? I'm sure that they too let you in, trusting you, and clearly they were people that you liked, well at least Peggy and Ella, right?"

She couldn't do anything. This was headed towards the wrong direction. Fuck, he wasn't supposed to be so chipper, he was meant to be furious and angry yelling at her because then she would be able to handle him. But like this she couldn't deal, at least not with the new Shane.

"I suppose," Christ what a lame response, "I mean yes, they were my friends Shane, and I do regret doing that to them."

"So then tell me, what I was to you? Was I your friend?"

"Yes" was all she could whisper.

"Then isn't it justified that I got upset with you, because lets face it, if you could lie to them and these were people that you were spending most of your time with, then clearly that would leave me with only one option and that was that you must have obviously lied to me too, because what was I, a mere pop star nothing more." He said that with such pain as if it hurt him to admit this flaw in himself.

"Alright fair enough, you might not understand that, but what about you coming to me. You could have told me at any point before Tess spilled your secret. You could have come up to me and told me that "Hey Shane there's something that I've got to tell you" did you not trust me? Did you think that I was going to laugh at you, because I swear to god if that's what you thought then clearly you never understood me,"

"What the hell was I meant to do?" she erupted like a volcano, biding it's time before spilling her liquid hot lava and burning everything around her, including him, "You're right, you are someone too famous beyond my understanding. What was I to expect. That if I told you you'd welcome me into your arms with a cheery smile. All I knew was that you too were going to judge me and why you wouldn't, I'm nothing, nothing compared to you,"

He let out a bitter laugh filled with ridicule, "I spent every minute I could get with you without knowing any of your personal history, and if I gave a shit about you would I have considered you as anything more? I never cared about what you were beyond the docks, what mattered was that moment, the need to want to talk to you."

She couldn't take this; suddenly everything was turning on her, suffocating her into endless silence and it scared her to know that she could now actually understand that maybe she might just have been in the wrong. She was the victim here not him she didn't want to sit here and face any of this; she needed Caitlyn she needed her comforting words right now.

"Why are you even here Shane," she jerked herself upright annoyed with not being on the same level as him, allowing him more power, "Are you here to forgive me or something? If not then just leave," she demanded.

"Forgiveness doesn't come so easily Mitchie, it needs to be earned."

The leave me" she yelled at the top of her voice in frustration, "Why are you punishing me, if I cant be forgiven, if vindication can't be delivered then why does this matter so much to you, where's the justice in that then, forget it and move on." she replied in a cold and hard voice. She was breathing hard with all of that yelling and persuasion but unlike him she had remained near the wall while he'd managed to forge his way halfway across the room.

"Because I loved you, you Fucking Bitch! I fucking loved you"

She was momentarily stunned into silence.

He let out a broken laugh that sounded more like a choking sob of pain and heart break, "And the sad thing is that you didn't even realize, your just so oblivious to it, so don't go giving me that poor excuse that your nothing compared to me." He barked out at her.

"You're lying," was all she could say, that's how absurd this moment felt like to her. He was just playing a cruel and twisted joke with her to further emotionally hurt her.

"You think I'm joking," his expression turned serious and he took a few steps forward so that he was only two steps away from her, "Do you know what would run through my mind every time I was near you, how much I had to control myself from doing the most sinful things to you, "he asked

She furiously shook her head, "I don't want to hear this,"

But he ignored her instead inching closer to her, "Every time you were sitting next to me or even listening intently to what I had to say or even daydreaming I'd want to pull your head back by your hair and kiss you thoroughly. Every time you were near me that's all I could think of,"

She could only stare and wonder because unfortunately, there were times where such thoughts would run through her mind.

"In fact no, I'll give you the unedited version. Half the time I'd want to yank your head to the side slamming your back against the docks and starting from the corner of your lips I'd kiss my way down leaving a trail of kisses along your neck and I'd do it so slowly making you burn with my touch and mine alone, before wanting to pause and suck on your pulse point feeling the erotic beat of your heart making sure that it was in sync with mine. And then do you want to know what I'd plan on doing next?"

Yes, god yes she thought to herself. She was so sick and perverted, suddenly feeling something coil its way around her stomach like the feeling of... arousal?

He continued on as if knowing exactly what she wanted, "Then while doing that I'd slowly slide my hand under you shirt, making sure to graze the base of you bra making you panting for more, but I wouldn't give it, instead, I'd kiss you again making sure to fuck you with my tongue, making you want to fight for domination. Then maybe I might just glide my fingers beneath it and then with excruciating slowness I'd flick my thumb over your breast, then what would I do Mitchie?"

"What?" she whispered, more like panted. Her name on his tongue sounded like an exotic flavor. The room felt a thousand times hotter than before and somehow, through some miracle, she felt extremely aroused for sure. It was disgusting to know that one minute she hated him with all her being and the next he could turn her into putty with just a few words.

"I'd dip my head down, slowly kissing my way towards your breast before I'd pull your shirt open and start paying heavy attention to your breast with that extremely talented mouth of mine" that self assured arrogance was only fueling her mind more "At the same time my other hand would effortlessly dip beneath your skirt," god, she was wearing a skirt right now.

He was right in front of her and yet not a single part of his body was touching her, while his hands remained against the wall, only his mouth was next to her ear whispering the tempting words to her, making her imagination run wild.

"I'd torture you slowly by tracing the outline of your knickers slowly drawing lazy circles along your inner thigh before sliding a finger right into you, and before you know it I'd have two fingers in you and I'd be finger fucking you. Can you imagine how that would look like? My finger would slowly be pumping in and out. Can you see that?" he whispered seductively

"In and out"

She felt very hot and very wet. Her cheeks must have looked like neon signs.

"Harder and faster"

"And then you'd release all those sweet juices that I'd lick off my finger inch by inch right in front of you making sure I'd savor the taste" but then he moved even closer to her ear saying "It's a pity that you think I'm lying, because then this could never happen," sarcasm heavily laced in those words.

OoOooOoOOoOoO

"Listen, um Caitlyn. Don't you think this is wrong? We shouldn't be spying," asked an extremely flustered Nate.

They were hidden, behind a bush peeking through the window watching the extremely entertaining show, although he'd never admit it out loud, at least not to the demanding witch next to him.

"Listen Nate buddy, if your not man enough then that's cool. But can you quiet down a bit, I've got a show to watch" she quickly tuned back to watch Shane lean down and say something, which made Mitchie blush.

This only made him grumble more. God, he just prayed that they didn't start having sex. Imagine having to watch or read about that.

He shuddered

Sick

* * *

**When he says the line "It's a pity that I'm lying because this could never happen" he doesn't mean that everything he just said to her is a lie and all the sex talk was bullshit, what he meant was; it's a pity that Mitchie seems to think that he's lying about his feelings for her because if that's what she continues to believe then this thing between them will never be able to take place. I think it's pretty obvious that beneath all of that he wants to have a relationship with her it's Fucking clear through every damn word as long as she just accepts that she did do something wrong because he's done his bit.**

**I hope I've done justice to this chapter. There were so many demands for this chapter but I needed to give them some closure but as you can see they haven't exactly completely dealt with it, they haven't forgiven and yet have slightly Moved a step forward I'd like to think. Nor could I give you sex cause that would be too soon and ridiculous. But aren't I clever for putting imaginative sex, huh, clearly inspired by Kresley cole. I hope I've written that well. ****So please pretty please tell me what you thought your opinions matter very much to me.**

**Press that button, yup the purple one, goddamn it!**


	8. What's Love Got To Do With It?

**I would like to thank you for the lovely reviews, but not only that, I'm lucky to have reviewers who take the time out and give me a detailed opinion so know that I appreciate that very much.**

**This took longer then expected because I decided to delve into Caitlyn. I haven't actually given you her viewpoint except in chapter 2, I assumed she would be very easy, unfortunately she wasn't. It's easy knowing that she's tough, what makes it harder is sifting through her emotions and knowing what made her as she is. I didn't dig too deep just in case I screw her up but I should hope that I've done some justice to that small part I have looked at.**

**First part of the chapter is Mitchie's POV and after the chapter breaks it's Caitlyn POV.**

**Finally I was going through someone's profile and I noticed they had a banner for their story, so I got, ashamed to admit it, Jealous. So I have a request, if there is anyone out there good at making banners, (because I want a good one) please PM me. I really, really do want one.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Ever has it been

that love knows not its own depth

until the hour of separation

**Kahlil Gibran**

Love, Love, Love.

She loves you

You love me

Everyone loves you

But do I love you?

She couldn't sleep.

No matter what she'd do, sleep refused to come and provide her with the comfort she needed. She tossed and turned for the second night in a row and right now she was facing the window, where the midnight sky would twinkle at her, winking every now and then in amusement at the animosity she felt towards the predicament she was now in.

What continued to torment her relentlessly was this ridiculous idea of love. She felt lost. What the hell did love have to do with any of this? All there ever was was the mutual feeling of understanding between the two, at least in the beginning for her. Slowly, over time, that understanding had turned into attraction and maybe secretly she could admit teenage lust, directed towards Shane. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe it had taken time for her to understand that, but eventually that was the conclusion that she had reached, and yes she'd only discovered this after the loss of Shane, but so what? She considered that as a good thing, it meant she would no longer be tempted.

Except, it all went horribly wrong.

She was stuck in a maze, long and winding hedges of forest green on all four sides of her with no sense of direction, not a single idea as to where North and South was, but finally, after stumbling around for awhile she had started to get closer to the exit, nearer to salvation then she could possibly perceive herself to be, except the closer she got the longer the winding path became, thorns started taking form, holes and cracks appeared and she was stuck once again, back to the beginning.

That was how this relationship had been from the very beginning, sticky and out of control.

But love? That was never in the picture.

What did he know about Love, he was what, 18, 19 years old? No one could really know if they were in love at that age. How could he be so sure that it was her he was in love with, for all she knew he could simply be in love with the idea of love and a companion, not her.

But no matter how many excuses she came up with, a small part of her knew that he wasn't talking shit. That behind all of that was pure conviction in his words. She could see the truth from the way he stood to the way he spoke. This wasn't Shane crap; this was honest, raw deep truth, which he'd revealed to her in the heat of the moment. And it was so obvious that he never meant to tell her, considering his angry outburst, because the conventional way of professing ones love would not be carried out in such a manner. But of course, this was Shane Gray; he had to do everything so fucking differently.

None of that mattered right now, what was important was…

Did she love him?

She stood alone.

Slowly a turbulent atmosphere formed before her, and wind slowly started to encircle her, going from soft and tender, gently brushing her cheek into a fierce blow of currents, whipping around her in a circular motion making her hair blow around her face into those honey coloured eyes.

A feeling of intense suffocation started to take hold of her making her struggle to breathe.

She turned around trying to find another form of life that may be near her, but she tripped over a jagged rock that jutted out from the sand.

Sand.

She was standing on sand.

The small grain particles slowly melded into the shape of her feet. It felt like she was walking on silk and honey, smooth and such a contrast to the cold and harsh winds.

She felt suffocated, needing some sort of release, anything to come and stave off this yearning, this hot desire. Except there, right beyond the winds, sand started to rise, slowly along with the wind taking form of a lean figure reminding her of someone so familiar, before finally coming to a halt. A mixture of sand and wind it stood there in a predatory manner watching her carefully, her heart beat in a wild rhythm, out of sync and control.

She made no move towards it, and slowly with deliberate accurateness its long elegant fingers brushed along her arms up to her cheeks as it neared her lips, its glacial touch only arousing her further to higher heights, making Goosebumps erupt all over her body. The feeling reminded her of callous hands that once ran along the same path triggering the same needy responses, which only made her wish that this was corporeal and it was _him_ instead, heightening her new found feelings.

But just as her body screamed for the touch, the figure erupted into thousands of sand particles while the wind picked up the remnants and dispersed everything into the mountains that lay further ahead.

Silence was all that could be heard.

Making her mourn for the loss to what she could never have.

She woke up with a start, tangled bed sheets tossed to the floor, while she was heavy and soaked with pure unadulterated arousal.

She ached to be pleasured and feeling dissatisfied wondered, in this lonely, null and void silence what her dream was trying to telling her.

OoOoOoOooOoOoOooOo

Colours

They fascinated her.

They were so beautiful and enchanting, and could with a flutter of the hand make a dull and lifeless object have soul and excitement.

The mergence of black and silver glittered in front of her eyes. She watched the colours sway around her creating the colour of what she knew the Cosmo to be. The fiery Red with the complicated Yellow fashioned the birth of Orange, a rich and striking texture. And that was what she loved about colours. They were solid and reliable. Everyone knew that Red mixed with blue would create Purple and Yellow with Blue, would create Green. You could experiment with them to discover knew shades and tints, but ultimately, their birth came from secondary and primary colours and no matter what you may do with them you always knew where to begin with.

Consistency was valuable to her along with trust.

She could trust colour.

She could trust them to be consistent.

Humans on the other hand were a completely different matter.

You could never be sure as to how they might behave and react. Such complex beings were therefore harder to be friends with and to depend on.

It was why when she did give them trust and value it was for life and expected as an honourable connection between two individuals. When she became friends with Tess it was because she thought that she was genuinely liked. She too wasn't immune to insecurity. Even she had a period where she lacked confidence simply wanting to fit in with a band of friends that got along for all the right reasons. And for a while it worked, until she realised that she was a naïve fool who had easily given into temptation. They were offering her something that she had craved for so long and finally once she'd gotten it she realised that the apple didn't taste so good.

A young girl danced in front of her, the large dress that she wore swirled around her looking magnificent in all its white glory. The beauty of pure white was astonishing and the dress held its own enigmatic appeal, but beneath it all it was just bits of thread strung together, dyed with chemicals and made to look stunning. A true deception was what it was, because she too was just like that dress. She was coated with a gleaming layer of confidence and an "I don't care" attitude, but beneath all of that, if you cut down that entire rock layer, you'd realise that there was a reason why she was like that. The true Caitlyn had emotions just like everyone else.

She needed to be tough to survive and to build on things.

But she also knew that Mitchie Torres wasn't a Tess.

She was worth putting trust into.

This was why she was pulling all the stops to fix everything for her.

And that was why right now she needed to get back to the kitchen because so far Mitchie had not said a word as to what happened with Shane. Okay, she'd admit that she spied on them, but she couldn't hear a word they were saying and Nate wouldn't let her get any closer. But she was sure that it was something big because Shane had stormed out in the way he typically did in dire situations. Leaving Mitchie red and, well, flustered was the only word that she could think of.

She trudged along the rough and worn out path that led towards the entrance to the kitchen and noticed Baron and Lola heatedly talking, huddled together in a corner, hmm interesting.

She needed to have a word with Nate but that would have to wait right now. It was hard trying to force sensible and boring Nate to do things that were out of his category; in other words to willingly scheme. But she'd managed it; with pressure and a sneak peek of how Shane had gotten ten times worse, Nate had clearly seen sense and followed her plan. Well, it was either that or he'd be stuck with Jason and watching Bird make out sessions.

She opened the door to the kitchen and what a sight it was.

Mitchie had obviously decided to use the wall as her therapy, because there she stood banging her head against the wall grumbling about something.

"Uh Mitchie, you can stop now, before your mom comes and starts to think the worse," she said maintaining the poker straight face.

Mitchie turned around, threw her hands up in the air, "I'm stressed, this is my way of dealing with it,"

Exasperated, "If you'd just tell me what happened, you wouldn't have to suffer alone. I could help you," argued Caitlyn.

"No," was the only reply she got, and then quickly Mitchie tried to smoothed the creases out of her clothes and flatten her wild hair, before asking, "Are you coming to breakfast then?"

"Changing the topic is not going to help, Mitchie. Whatever it is, you're going to have to deal with it," she was feeling very irritated, wanted to smack Mitchie up the side of her head trying to bring some sense into that thick skull of hers.

"I'm not talking about this," she snapped with anger.

"Fine, don't then. But eventually it will fester inside of you before it becomes too much, Mitchie, and then it will be too late." She just wanted her to stop being so stubborn.

Jesus, Shane was rubbing off on her!

"Look, can we just talk about this later? We're getting late," and with that she swiftly turned, leaving the kitchen and most likely picking her tray up.

God this was going to be a long breakfast.

She headed out the kitchen, and saw the hall was packed with kids eating away in excitement talking about their next class, and Mitchie already in line getting her food. She quickly grabbed a tray and hurried towards her.

It was on her way out of the queue that she saw Ella and Peggy heading towards her direction, making Mitchie give her a quizzical look. Either they were heading towards the bin which was right next to them, or they were coming for her. Ella passed her first throwing her contents into the waste with Peggy following after. But just as Peggy got close to her she slipped a paper into her hand before continuing on as if nothing out of the ordinary took place. Mitchie, thankfully, was looking for a table; she quickly took advantage and read the note as fast as she could, a slow smile spreading itself across her face, a glint in her eyes.

As she walked down to the table chosen for her, there was a light spring in her steps. Only happiness was short lived, because on the table right behind them was Shane sulking with Jason, who was oblivious to the thick and heavy atmosphere. A deep scowl formed its way onto Shane's face, which made it understandable that Mitchie made sure she sat not facing him.

"You better tell me what the hell happened, because I think Shane wants to rip your head off right now," she whispered, and her eyebrows furrowed out of frustration.

However there was no time for such necessities because right then Nate entered the hall, looking rather depressed, she noticed him scanning the room for someone, he must have found them because a chipper smile etched its way onto his features.

She decided now would be the time to start eating whatever it was on her tray since Mitchie was already halfway through her food, although Nate had decided to take a seat right next to Mitchie who was taken by surprise, and if she wasn't wrong the girl was blushing,

Fascinating, the things she was learning today.

"Hi Mitchie, I just came over here to ask how you're feeling," he looked at her, concern shining brightly through his eyes, while Mitchie spluttered searching for a coherent sentence. Nate gently placed a hand on her shoulder, "You know I was very concerned about you," he made sure to say that sentence extra loud, and right on cue Shane looked livid and ready for murder, a cup tightly gripped in his hands.

"Uh, I'm fine, uh thanks for asking," was all the shocked girl could manage.

Now Caitlyn wasn't horrible or anything like that, but truly this was a priceless sight, and would remain as one of her fondest memories. The damsel in distress, the prince charming, and the wicked wizard called Shane.

She could here the animated babbling of someone talking about feathers and the various types' birds have. Nate gently brushed a stray lock out of Mitchie's eyes before taking hold of both her hands and saying in that comforting and soothing voice that he was blessed with, "I want you to remember that anytime you want to talk, I'm always here for you, you're a very special girl Mitchie," he said, in that charming way, but she could see the devious smirk hidden behind those velvety rich words.

And just as she'd predicted, the glass in Shane's hands splintered into hundreds of pieces, shiny pieces, covered with crimson liquid.

A few who were paying extra attention that day considered this as a testament to Shane being Mitchie's secret boyfriend; others thought he was having his famous temper tantrums.

But she, along with two other people knew this as something else.

Shane Gray was now officially jealous.

_And about fucking time,_ she thought.

* * *

**I guess this chapter was more of filler, but I'll treat you with a sneak peek to the next chapter because I'm so generous……**

"_It was a humiliating and degrading act," she snapped at him._

"_It was a kiss that's all," he quickly replied in defence. _

"_A kiss that took place in public, that's not a kiss!" she replied fiercely._

"_Well, maybe we should see exactly how a normal kiss should be,"_

"_What do you mean?" she asked_

"_I'll show you exactly what a proper kiss is,"_

**Oooh I bet you're angry; who the hell is that talking? **

**Review. I've managed to reach the 60 reviews per chapter so get me there again pretty please. Come on it, would only be fair I gave you a sneak peek!!**

**Oh and tell me what you thought of Caitlyn's "inner mind".**


	9. Cause He's A Man Whore?

**Once again thank you for the amazing reviews. I truly am lucky**

**You're getting this chapter early than expected all thanks to **Courty-Court **Since the poor little sweetheart has Mono and yet she took the time out to review, so this is for you and I hope you're feeling better!**

* * *

_It's killing me  
We die when love is dead  
It's killing me  
We lost a dream we never had  
The world in silence and should forever feel alone  
Cause we are gone & we will never overcome  
It's over now_

By Tokio Hotel

Love Is Dead

He was in hell.

His own personal hell, created specifically by Nate and his wayward hands.

The pain in his hand measured to nothing compared to the ache he was feeling in his heart. The shattered glass represented the heart that had just smashed in to a million pieces.

Again.

Nate on the other hand looked rather amused at the incident, smiling slightly when he spotted the blood slowly trailing its way down his wrist, before looking back at him and the Fucker purposely held Mitchie's hand even tighter. Similarly, Caitlyn wore a pleased smirk, her hands delicately holding the apple as she took it in for a bite. It was the way that she bit the apple with such ferocity and malice as though she hoped it was something else she was tearing apart that had him thinking in curiosity. But really it was the hand holding Mitchie that had him burning up in fumes of violent anger.

The only person who seemed genuinely surprised at his actions was Mitchie, who gasped in shock as she saw the blood and her hand flew to her mouth. Well at least it got one hand away from Nate's grip.

"SHANE!!," shouted Jason, as he dipped his head down low to look at his cereal, and frowning in irritation before looking up again and pointing his long finger in front of his face wagging it to the left and then back to the right, which strangely enough made him look like a big grandfather clock, except the more he wagged his finger, by some miracle, the wilder his unruly hair got, "You just got glass in my cereal, what am I going to eat now, huh? I hope you're happy, Shane, I hope the birds peck you on the way out and then make a nest on you hair bef-"

"Fuck you, Jason"

Somewhere in the background he noticed Lola and Barron look towards him before continuing on with their discussion with more exuberance.

"Touchy," was all Jason said with the aloofness that could only belong to Jason and Jason alone, before frowning at his bowl of cereal again.

But right now none of this mattered, maybe he'd regret how he'd spoken to Jason but for now he was planning to kill Nate in the most gruesome way possible. Lynching him seemed like the best way and then maybe he could scatter his various bits across Africa. Yeah, that sounded like a very good idea. How could Nate go and touch Mitchie like that and that too in front of him when the guy knew exactly what sort of situation Shane was in. He had just gone and broken the code, the male code to what a fucker could and couldn't fuck. Mitchie was not in the category for fucking, certainly not by Nate the man whore.

Nate was now deemed as a slut.

Permanently

A small little voice could be heard in the back of his mind the devious smirk laced in those traitorous words,_ But you shouldn't care who she's with, remember you told her how you felt and all she did was ignore you for two days. Forget her, she betrayed you. _

Aaaah the voice.

It always managed to make an appearance at the wrong time, usually when he was in a twisted situation and right now the blasted thing was actually making some sort of sense. She had betrayed him sitting there draped all over Nate-

"Shane, are you ok?" Nate asked looking concerned for the first time at the whole incident; surprisingly not many people had picked up on what was going on.

Nate's hands were still on her.

So he did the best he could.

He scowled at him.

"Um, well just be careful next time," he glanced at his hand and then at the shards of glass that were glistening in the bright light, before shifting his gaze back to Shane, "you kind of interrupted us," he then turned around to talk to Mitchie. The gall of him, telling him to keep it down! He needed a glass right now to throw at Nate, but decided the bowl of milk would do the trick for now. He quickly reached over to take hold of the bowl from Jason's enquiring hands until he heard someone slam something down, hard.

It was Lola.

She stood there, on the table to his right banging her fists down hard against the wooden table that gleamed with the high finish of varnish. Oh, she looked mad, about ready to kill whoever it was who'd had the nerve to piss her off. _Poor sap_ was all Shane could think. Was he going to enjoy the scene that was about to take place?

Abso-_fucking-_lutely

Cause it was about time someone else suffered besides him.

"You are such a, jerk!" she yelled at Barron, "It's just so typical of you to think like that, you and your low male understanding." irritation carved its way into her face, and she blew the stray lock that came into her eyes.

Barron looked pissed. He no longer remained in his seat but stood facing her opposite the table as he gripped the edge of it, "I don't get why you're making such a fuss about this. The guy acted on impulse, passionate impulse, no Biggie and the chick looked like she enjoyed it,"

_Who were they talking about?_ was all Shane could wonder

"Chick, No biggie, oh that's the typical chauvinistic attitude I expect from men like you," she bit out heatedly.

_Shit,_ this was beginning to sound every familiar.

"It was a kiss,"

It was a humiliating and degrading act," she snapped at him.

"It was a kiss that's all," he quickly replied in defence.

"A kiss that took place in public, that's not a kiss!" she replied fiercely.

"Well, maybe we should see exactly how a normal kiss should be,"

"What do you mean?" she asked

"I'll show you exactly what a proper kiss is,"

_Oh fuck_, it was happening again.

"You wouldn't dare?" clearly Lola had realised what was running through Barron's mind because before Shane could even blink Barron had pulled her forward and Kissed her smack on the mouth. She pulled her head back and slapped him hard across the face leaving a shocked looking Barron in the midst of it all. Tears were tracking their way down her face, Shane noticed that it was with sheer determination that she managed to control herself.

"You're an even bigger jerk than Shane," she whispered so quietly as if in shock by what had just taken place, cause he sure as hell was. But the whisper was a thousand times louder in the silent room because everyone sat there watching the entire thing in deadly silence.

Lola stormed off, but right when she passed Shane she paused, and he could have sworn that she was about to slap him too, except it never came, instead she said in that broken voice of hers that unfortunately reminded him of another girl who'd been in the same position, "I hope you're satisfied at what a sick influence you are. You must be so damn proud of yourself," she stared at him for a moment before looking back at Mitchie and it was as if an understanding had happened between he two in that moment, because Mitchie smiled at her sadly, before Lola left the place while flocks of girls chased after. But what unnerved him was the fact that half the people weren't staring at Barron in anger, instead their focus happened to be on him.

"Awkward," Jason said in a very melodramatic voice, placing his hands on his heart feigning heartbreak, which didn't really fit the words spoken or the moment.

"Gosh, that's just so awful," said Caitlyn in a voice topped with sick sweetness, "Don't you think Shane?" she flashed him that all to knowing smile as she took another rough bite out of her apple, except her eyes held none of that candy coated happiness.

"Yeah," he murmured quietly, except it was more to himself.

"Well, that was horrible wasn't it Mitchie, just awful," Nate said to Mitchie in a voice that echoed pain and discomfort over the terrible ordeal, "Anyway, I wanted to tell you something. You see, Uncle Brown has asked me to teach a class for the next few days and guess what? You're going to be with me today, so I guess that means I can keep an eye on you,"

Was that a double entendre?

"Wow," was all Mitchie said before smiling at him brightly, "That's great. So what will you be teaching?" she asked in curiosity.

He smiled at her, a secret smile that held answers to the biggest most juiciest questions in the world, "We can talk all we want while I walk you to class," he got up and Mitchie followed his lead since she was already done with eating, quickly picking her tray up. However, there was no need since Nate took hold of it for her and held his arm out for her.

She looked back at Caitlyn, who smiled at her in encouragement before she slipped her arm through his, commenting on his behaviour, "You know Nate, you really are quite the gentlemen,"

He laughed at that before turning his head back to smile at Shane, and walking off with her towards the open doors.

"Aww isn't that cute," said Jason serenely, "They look like two beautiful peacocks' finally find-"

Except Shane never let him finish, instead throwing his Jam covered toast into Jason's face.

_Take that for Peacocks _

He only just realised that Caitlyn was watching him. She slowly got up and walked over to him, sitting down next to Jason, so she was in plain view of Shane.

"Well Shane wasn't this fascinating? But what fascinated me above all is the fact that today Shane Gray looked very angry, or wait……" she paused and leaned in, whispering dramatically "Was it jealousy?"

"I don't know what you're talking about,"

_Lair, liar_ said the voice inside his head.

"Oh cut the bullshit out Shane," she snapped at him, "and just admit it for god's sake"

He sighed in resignation, feeling sick and not in the mood for another confrontation. "There's nothing for me to admit. Mitchie knows exactly how I feel for her and clearly she's into Nate so I'm not going to sit in the middle of it all like a blotch," and he hoped that was the end of the topic, but of course this was Caitlyn, she had to confuse things up even more.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she demanded, "You've never told her how you feel about her. You've never admitted anything."

"What the fuck are you banging on about Caitlyn?" he toned his voice down, slightly aware of the fact that there were still a few nosey people lurking around, "I screamed out the fact that I loved her and all she could do was ignore me for two days, not giving me any hint to what was going on and then she comes up flaunting herself with Nate. What exactly am I supposed to think then?" he argued with her, hoping that she would just leave it alone and let it be.

For the first time Caitlyn sat there in silence looking pale and shocked. Not saying a single word. And it was then in that silent moment that he realised something. Caitlyn had no idea about the shit that went down between Mitchie and him. A thousand emotions covered her face; hurt, shock, betrayal and above all pain. It made him pity her, she had gone through god knows what for Mitchie's sake and she hadn't even told her this important piece of information.

"Now you get what I mean. What's the point? Putting all this faith and trust into people is worth nothing when all they do is let you down," he really felt for her, despite all her flaws she had been cracked, he supposed once again, "You and I are more alike then we think our self to be,"

"I can't believe this," she quietly murmured to herself.

"Forget it Caitlyn because I honestly can't take it anymore. Love isn't worth any of this pain," he stood up, picked his tray and left the place, because most likely she wouldn't understand what he meant by not being able to handle this, unfortunately, he understood it crystal clear.

He left her there deep in her thoughts, because it was obvious that Caitlyn had just realised that her interference had only screwed things up even further.

OoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOo

Nightfall was mere minutes away, and she could hear the faint rustle of leaves as the fading rays of orange and red sunlight distanced themselves. She played the final note to her song while singing the last line. Her fingers elegantly skimmed along the piano knowing it inside out so effortlessly, something that not everyone was talented with. She let the music flow through her and infiltrate her mind, body and soul.

Nate stood beside her, intrigued by her hands, the quick methodical way they worked.

"It sounds so pure," he said, appraisal apparent in his eyes, "It was genuine and true"

Right at that moment Caitlyn stumbled through the door, stopping in the middle looking back and forth between the two, before she yelled,

"He told you, he told you he fucking loved you and you didn't even tell me!"

_Shit_ she thought

* * *

**Ha, none of you figured it out although in my defence I did mention Lola and Barron twice in chapter 3 and the last chapter. Since I'm cruel and twisted and want you to suffer here's the sneak peek to the next chapter-**

"_As in he's leaving the room?" wondered Mitchie in confusion_

"_No," said Peggy, looking slightly scared, "As in he's leaving Camp Rock," _

**Interesting, don't you think?**

**Eeek I also finally have a banner it's on my profile page. A friend of mine made it after I nagged her!**

**I only have one request; Review! Especially those who don't bother, Jesus don't be so goddamn lazy.**


	10. Realisation

**Thank you for the lovely reviews, I love to hear your thoughts and opinions so it means a lot to me that you take the time out to do so.**

**Happy belated Birthday to Wiswinagirl!**

**Some of you might feel this is slightly being dragged out, I guess it is for you and me but this story has only taken place over 4 days, and people take months to admit their feelings. So bear it out a bit more, you know, I do have a plot line to follow!**

**Finally I have a beta reader, so no more mistakes from me. She's fast, efficient and allows me to nag her when I have insecurities about a certain story and dare I say it she is Fucking awesome she is the lovely, Angel17712 – Thank you!**

**I also have a quote in here from 10 things I hate about you, I wonder if you can spot it.**

**Happy reading**

* * *

_I've made up my mind,  
No need to think it over,  
If i'm wrong I aint right,  
No need to look no further,  
This ain't lust,  
This is love _

By Adele

Chasing Pavements

It was as if time had slowed down.

And to such an extent that she just couldn't keep up with the blur of the speed or the stark haziness that surrounded her in the form of a very angry Caitlyn. She was burning like the fiery depths of hell, spitting red flames of fire every now and then. But the tip of the iceberg was Nate and the fact that he wasn't wearing his mister happy-go-lucky expression that he was so famous for. Instead, it was as if an art exhibition was taking place, because for the first time she finally got to see a pissed off Nate combined with a very confused Nate. It was captivating seeing how those emotions would switch back and forth and his eyebrows would become drawn in, so much so that a cramp would start to form in the middle. Sure, he may have been pissed off at her, but it still was a fascinating thing to watch.

Looking exasperated, he turned back to Medusa, cause she sure as hell looked like her. "What on earth are you talking about, Caitlyn?"

"What am I talking about? What am I talking about? I'll tell you what I'm talking about. SHE," and she pointed her finger at Mitchie which made Nate swivel around as if to make sure she was really pointing at Mitchie and not someone else who might have just camouflaged themselves against the horrid wall, "Yeah, her right there Nate, Shane just happened to have told her that he loved her," and at the look of shock on Nate's face, she continued to nod frantically, as if egging him on to get furious at Mitchie. "He told her he fucking loved her and you know what SHE," And again the finger made a reappearance with high enthusiasm, "Did? Well Nate, she never told me about it, but you know what the biggest shit out of all of this is? It's that she didn't even tell him how she felt. No, instead, clever old Mitchie decided to avoid him for TWO DAYS!!"

Maybe Nate felt left out from all the yelling that Caitlyn seemed to excel at, that he decided to have his own input. "What the hell were you thinking?" he demanded as he turned around and was watching her along with Caitlyn, both of their arms folded across their chests and scowls permanently fixed on their faces. It felt like it was the Spanish inquisition.

"I don't understand why any of this has any importance and what has it got to do with you guys in the first place?" She hoped the question would get them off her back because she wasn't in any mood to discuss her feelings, least of all in front of Nate. Unfortunately, all it did was make Caitlyn look even more mad, if possible.

"It has every importance. You just fucked everything up." Caitlyn ran her fingers through her hair out of frustration before letting out an anguished moan, "And the sad thing is, I helped you along the way and you didn't even realize it."

And before she could think the words were out of her mouth. "I fucked everything up? I did absolutely nothing wrong so don't you dare go blaming this crap on me Caitlyn, you have no right to do that."

She realized that the words had come out completely wrong, but it was too late to fix it.

"I have no right? Well, why the fuck did you come crying to me then when you were all upset then? Why did you keep me up all night? You suddenly decide to have me in your life when it works for you and then you throw me out when you suddenly need privacy or time to use your goddamn brain. Get over it, Mitchie, cause I'm in way too deep for your thick little brain to figure it out and al-"

Nate, being the smart guy that he was, decided that now was the time to interfere before both girls ended up saying something that they'd regret later. "Okay, that's enough Caitlyn," he said in a firm voice as he pulled her by the arm so that she was next to him and at a safe distance from Mitchie before she jack hammered her into oblivion. "I think the important question here is, what does Mitchie feel for Shane?"

Caitlyn started, "What the-" until Nate looked at her carefully trying to get her to read his thoughts. "Oh, right." And then all of a sudden she was back to being the old Caitlyn who was in control and in charge. "Do you love him Mitchie?"

This was that awful moment, wasn't it? The one that she'd been dreading for the past two days, because let's face it, she was just so lost and confused. She'd contemplated the fact that she was in love and wondered maybe if it was simply infatuation and teenage lust, nothing more than that. The hard thing was getting her to admit it. And right now she just couldn't say love and connect it with Shane. It was as if her pride refused to let it happen.

"I don't know," was all she could say because it summed up her feelings perfectly.

In unison, they both yelled out, "What do you mean, 'you don't know'?"

"I'm fucking confused. What do you expect? I mean, it's just a silly little teenage crush and it will most likely go away, but what does love have to do with any of this? I don't even think Shane himself realizes what love is. How can he be so sure it's love? And it's not like I need him or anything,"

It was Nate's quiet and pensive voice that brought her out of her confusion. "You may not need him, but Mitchie, Shane needs you more than anyone else."

She felt stunned at this piece of information. Shane needed her, as in needed her needed her, or was it a completely different need? "Did he tell you this?"

"No," Nate said, "He didn't need to. He would never speak to me about personal things, but you were the one and only person he would ever talk to me about. Whenever he spoke about you, it was always in a completely different way to how he would if it was someone else. There was always this sense of respect and admiration for you, something that even I can't get from him all the time. But with you, it was different, you made him reconsider himself and to remember that others had feelings too and to want to consider other people before himself. He needs you, probably something he'll never admit, but it's the truth."

She couldn't think. It was like she was overloading with all of this information because none of it fit the bill. Secretly, she was thrilled to know that he thought of her with such high reverence, but it also scared her to the level of commitment he felt towards her. It was so silly. Boys were the ones who usually panicked with their feelings and yet here, the situation was in reverse.

"You need to tell me what the hell went down between you two the other day, because I need to know right now," demanded Caitlyn.

"Uh, well it was slightly confusing so I can't remember it much an-"

"Confusing my ass, you're avoiding the topic," she snapped.

"All right, fine. Shane was acting all cool and calm the moment you walked out and then, before you know it, he lost it and he's yelling that he loves me. So obviously, I went into defensive mode, and you can't blame me for thinking that he was messing around with me again. So I said he was lying, because that was the only coherent thing that I could think of at that point. The only problem is, that just fuelled his anger even more and then……….and… well…….he..." She was stalling like hell because this wasn't something she wanted to delve into due to the high level of embarrassment she would end up suffering.

Exasperated, Nate tried to nudge her further. "He what?"

Hesitantly, she began to form the dangerous words that were reluctant to roll off her tongue. "He started to tell me how……I mean, what he would do to me if we were to have sex." She rushed out the last couple of words, mostly in fear of Caitlyn's wrath. She pitied Nate, because he definitely looked just as uncomfortable as she felt.

"Shane is very blunt sometimes when it comes to his feelings, I guess you had to deal with it in an awkward manner," Nate tried to explain, clearly hoping that it would earn Shane some forgiveness.

"Well, this certainly has been quite an eventful day. Why didn't you just say something back to him?" asked Caitlyn.

"Wait, you're not angry?" Mitchie wondered in confusion.

"Oh I am, and trust me, I will deal with him, just not right now. Answer the question."

"Well god Caitlyn, what the fuck was I meant to say; 'I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby'? My brain was fizzled out and I didn't have time to think of anything. Confusion was at its highest point."

"Well Mitchie, you better unconfuse yourself, because it's either that or you're just never going to find out where this could have gone, unless you give it a chance. You're just trying to take the easy way out by not admitting how you feel." Mitchie began to interrupt and argue, but Caitlyn seemed to be on a roll. "There's no need to deny it. Isn't it obvious with the way you so badly wanted him to forgive you? Why go through all those tears if he meant nothing to you? Why want him to realize that you never lied to him? It's all there, hidden behind those actions. This is more than what you want it to be," she said with clarity.

"She's right Mitchie, and you know it doesn't necessarily have to be love but the truth is, whatever this is between you and Shane isn't infatuation or lust," Nate explained.

Oh god, this wasn't meant to be happening so fast. Did she really feel more for him than she allowed herself to believe? She cared for him, that was true. She wanted him to realize that she hadn't lied to him, which he'd accepted. But then the satisfaction she'd hoped to feel at his realization had never come. Him admitting that she didn't lie to him didn't make her feel content and at peace, it only left her more frustrated. So was this Caitlyn's way of saying this was something more? Was this her subconscious telling her to realize she was in love? And that's when she remembered that dream of hers with the sand and the mysterious stranger. She remembered how every time he'd get close to her, so close that he was on the brink of pleasuring her, he'd always erupt into millions of pieces the moment his lips reached hers. And she realized it was because she was holding back, she'd never made a move towards him; it always him who had to pursue her. So, maybe it was because he was waiting for her to do something. Or more like to say something. But then again, Nate had said this didn't need to be labelled as love; it just needed to be acted on.

She could do that.

It was easy.

Except right at that moment, Peggy burst into the room panting and out of breath as if she'd run a thousand miles just to get there.

"There you guys are," she said in a rush, "I've been looking for you everywhere." She was bent over at the waist, her hands on her knees steadying herself so she could breathe more easily.

"What happened?" Nate asked in concern.

"I just heard something. Barron who was talking to Andy who then told Sander who went and told Lola about it and she then told it to T.J. Tyler who then whispered it to Jason who then charmed Ella and told it to her who then finally came and told me," she paused there for a much needed breather.

"Wow talk about Chinese whisper," Nate said, looking amazed.

"Yeah well anyway, apparently Tess was talking to Brown,"

"I thought we'd gotten up to you in the gossip chain. Where the hell did Tess come into this?" Caitlyn wondered irritatedly.

"Oh, for god's sake, pay attention. Tess was talking to Brown about how she was telling Shane that Nate and Mitchie looked good together."

"We do?" asked Mitchie in confusion.

"Apparently," said Nate in amusement.

"You know, I suggest you shut up and listen because this is important. Anyway, so she said to him how good you looked together and then according to Tess, Shane suddenly got up and said in this serious, like deadly serious voice that he was leaving."

"No fucking way," muttered Caitlyn, while Mitchie, on the other hand, felt lost.

"As in he was leaving the room?" wondered Mitchie in confusion

"No," said Peggy, looking slightly scared. "As in he's leaving Camp Rock."

"Permanently," she added.

* * *

**I'm sure you're cursing obscenities at me. ****Yup this chapter is short I'm ashamed to admit but it's one of those fillers, but then in my defence the next one will be longer and well….more. …..ahem….. Something else.**

**I guess the excerpt I gave you was not out of context Shock, shock. Here's the next one-**

"_I never knew making love could be so ……..rough," she said thoughtfully_

"_Um, I wouldn't class that as love making. It's more of a rough fucking," he stated matter-of-factly. _

**I guess the question is, is this given to you out of context?**

**I know I'm advertising, but I have started another story which some of you have checked out. It's another one of those angst filled stories, but probably more so than this story, it will be dark and mature and my focus is trying to figure out the darker aspect of these characters when they keep secrets and the effects of that. So if you can handle Mature and enjoy this story it would mean a lot to me if you checked that one out to and told me what you thought!**

**Finally review cause I too get insecurities just like everyone else therefore need to know what you thought of this chapter.**


	11. And Now I Am With You Now

**Thanks once again for the amazing reviews. I love, love love, reading what you think. ****Oh, not many spotted the 10 things I hate about you quote. I apologise for the wait, but this chapter is 5777 words long, that should make up for it. This chapter was heavily influenced by Smashing Pumpkins, "The end is the beginning is the end", yeah I got hit by the watchmen trailer, so you might see some words lurking around here.**

**Finally, I have to thank Mimi1rks ( and if you haven't read her story, shame shame!) for the help she gave me a while ago, I'm sure you can see the roots of your idea floating around here, she also gave me advice when I felt panicked. And a lovely thank you to my beta, Angel17712 who didn't throttle me considering the foolish mistakes I make- Thank you**

**So where were we- Oh yes, I remember the mention of someone leaving and rough fucking?**

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_Run, Run like you do  
I'm chasing you  
I'm on your tail  
I'm gaining fast_

_Pushing me away  
if you really don't care then say it to my face_

By Jonas Brothers

Pushing me away

Spots of red and black clouded her vision as Mitchie tried to come to grips with what she'd just heard.

"Are you sure?" Caitlyn asked in that firm and commanding voice that normally wouldn't matter much to her, but right now, she depended on that voice to fix this problem and reassure Mitchie that everything was going to be alright.

Peggy's face remained fixed in a grim expression. "Yes, I'm sure. According to Jason, he's in his cabin and refuses to let anyone in, including Brown."

Caitlyn stood there for a moment, carefully watching Nate, as if trying to determine what he was thinking before turning around and marching all the way up to Mitchie. She grabbed her friend by the shoulders, shaking her slightly before speaking slowly and clearly, placing great emphasis on each and every word.

"Did you just hear that, Mitchie? He's leaving. As in you'll never get to see him again leaving."

The only problem was, right now, she wasn't paying any attention whatsoever. Instead, the strangest picture took form in her head. It was a cherry blossom tree that she vaguely remembered spotting on her first day here. But for now, suddenly her mind was transfixed by the image. It stood alone, with no other tree too close to it for comfort. Old and withered, and yet despite its loneliness and age, it was covered with flowers blooming away in the sun in their different hues of pink and creamy white, which gave the impression of youth and power. But every now and then, a flower would fall down as the gentle breeze swayed the branches, and it slowly trailed its way down to the ground. It took time for that flower to reach the earth but eventually it would and silently it would rest below, under the shade of its owner, as if waiting for permission to die in its mournful sorrow. In this lonely and cold moment, she wondered if she might just end up like that flower; alone and abandoned but in her case, she didn't need to ask for permission, she wasn't even given the courtesy to be told that "Hey Mitchie, guess what? You're going to be alone for your entire fucking life, take that, you bitch!" Instead she was left here, in a desolate and depressing place.

She was bought out of her reverie, by the constant shaking from Caitlyn and the awful silence that would forever haunt her. "Listen to me Mitchie, he's going to leave. Are you telling me that you're willing to lose everything over pride and denial?"

She didn't know what to do, and all she could do was stare at Caitlyn and try to understand what she was trying to make her realize. "I don't think there is anything I can do Caitlyn," she shifted her gaze to Peggy, who had stood throughout this whole time in silence, watching the interaction between the two girls. "It's……his decision,"

she finished lamely.

Nate, shook his head, disagreeing with her,."That's not true Mitchie, well at least not the reasons behind why he's doing this." He looked at Caitlyn, and quickly gaining permission from her, he continued. "He's only doing this because he's jealous."

'That's utter bullshit,' she thought. "Why would he be jealous?" she asked skeptically.

He hesitated for a moment, looking slightly unsure at what he was about to utter. It made her wonder exactly what was running through that complex mind of his and she wondered how Caitlyn managed to spend so much time with him. And yet, it was as if she understood him, or at least that's what it looked like, considering the fact that they didn't even need to speak to communicate. It was funny that she and Shane couldn't even communicate while actually speaking, let alone not talking.

"It's mostly because he thinks that there's something going on between you and me, and so being the typical testosterone filled guy that he is, he's decided to be jealous and jump to conclusions rather than talk about it."

"What?" she spluttered in shock. "Why would he think that?"

Nate let out a long, suffering sigh, before saying something she'd never thought he'd term himself as being. "Because we're morons who thought they could try and fix everything, but instead, we screwed everything up,"

This only made her more confused then ever. "I don't understand what you're talking about, Nate."

"Nate, shut the fuck up and stop distracting her," Caitlyn yelled, which only made Nate scowl at her before looking disinterested by her menacing stare, while Mitchie really wanted to know what he was talking about.

"Mitchie, if you even care for Shane in the slightest bit, I suggest you go find him now and fix this mess."

"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?" Worry was laced heavily in her question.

"Then I suggest you hit him where it hurts, and do whatever is necessary to get him to use that brain of his." Caitlyn turned back to look at Peggy before asking, "So he's definitely in his cabin?"

Peggy nodded. "I'm positive he's in there, because I could hear a lot of banging,"

With nightfall in place and the eerie glow of the light coming from the windows, Caitlyn looked as scary as hell, and Mitchie wondered what kind of a relationship Nate and she had. It must have been a difficult one too, poor Nate.

"Go. Now." Caitlyn pointed towards the door and looked back at Mitchie. "Now!"

Shit. This was it. The big moment. She felt a bit like the runaway bride, except unlike Julia Roberts, she was actually going to face her fears now rather than later.

So she ran. She shot out the cabin like a silver bullet, whipping out to find her target and kill it mercilessly without a second thought. The only thing hindering her from doing so was the moment she stepped out of the cabin, she stopped, taking into account the fact that it was pitch black. It was as if the dark was her haunting melody, mocking her because she was now indefinitely about to lose something and it was too late. It played the tune that her mind wanted her to listen to, but the one that her stupid heart refused to pay any heed to.

Slowly, she followed the steps that would take her to the ground and lead her to the path towards her salvation. She felt like a princess. A pale and ruined princess who watched her castle fall to crumbles because Prince Charming was too damn screwed up to help her and to save her from the dragon and tell her all would be okay. Instead, she stood alone and the world unfolded itself and was blown to smithereens.

The rough and worn out path stood before her calling her to take the steps towards him and to seek him out. As she walked her way down, she thought about whether he was happy in his mind. What place had he found? Was it happiness or was it void and dark? Did he feel proud of himself? Because she didn't. For now she stood alone, simply flesh and blood, and nothing else. There was no distinction to what made her an individual or what allowed her to love. She only existed. Maybe that's what heartbreak did to someone, so this was what heartbreak felt like. Funny though, a few minutes ago, she wasn't really sure she wanted to talk to Shane, but maybe that was because she wasn't lucid.

She slowly got closer and closer to his cabin. The closer she got, the louder her heart thrummed against her chest as if it knew something big was about to happen. But what if all that took place was a few nasty exchanges of words and nothing else? They might just simply part ways and finish this here so they didn't need to face any of this ever again. Because what was the point of carrying on? Would it even make her happy? What if it only brought her pain and anguish? Hadn't she had enough of that already? Maybe not. Well, at least that's what the sky seemed to think as it rumbled above her, disagreeing with her. Well, wasn't this comforting. The only solace she had was from a bitch called the sky.

She stopped in front of his cabin. She wasn't even going to refer to him by his name. He was simply going to be known as _he_, so that way she wouldn't feel upset or like a humongous piece of shit. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. This was probably going to be the only peaceful moment that she would have for a while; dealing with him was always a headache.

She grabbed the door knob, and with a bit of fumbling, managed to open the door. It creaked slightly, but as she peered inside, all she saw was darkness. That is until she saw him, standing there by the window as the pale glow of the moonlight illuminated his face. And the moment reminded her of when she was watching him in secret; he looked the same now just as he did four days ago. Nothing had changed in his appearance. He wore the same black outfit, his hair looked the same and he still looked like a god. But she knew the inside of him had changed. Probably blackened itself into charcoal.

It was only now that she noticed what it was that he was so carefully watching. There was a bowl of clear glass that was filled with water and in it was a gold fish that kept swimming back and forth. She watched how his eyes trailed it, following it carefully.

The room was a mess, clothes were scattered all over the floor, and things had been smashed harshly. The only things intact were the bed and that fish.

And it scared the shit out of her, because Shane Gray had lost it.

OoOoOOoOoOooOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOoOoOoOOoOoOOoOoOOoOoO

_How long will I be waiting,  
To be with you again  
Gonna tell you that I love you,  
In the best way that I can.  
I can't take a day without you here,  
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear._

By Jonas Brothers

When you look me in the eyes

That fish represented him.

It was trapped just like him. In this suffering and claustrophobic bowl filled with crap water, Shane could tell it wanted to get out and be in its natural surroundings. He sympathized with it because he too felt out of it. In a body that didn't feel like his. He wore skin that didn't belong to him.

He was in love with someone that didn't belong to him, nor did she love him. And he was reminded of that in such a timely manner thanks to Tess. He wondered if she was happy with the shit she was putting him through, if she actually felt pleased with the pain she was inflicting upon him. He got it; she didn't love him. Fair enough. There was no point in him being here anymore.

"Shane?" he heard someone say, or more specifically, her say.

Great, just great. Now, he was hallucinating about her. Sad, wasn't it? He was trying so hard to forget her, and yet, his subconscious wouldn't allow it. It flat out refused at the idea.

"Shane?"

Maybe his subconscious just wanted to torture him. No wonder it managed to imitate her voice so perfectly. If he just stared at the fish a little harder, maybe his subconscious would stop persisting and leave him alone.

"Shane, what are you looking at?" it asked him.

As if it didn't fucking know.

"Why don't you look at me?" the voice asked, in that perfect smooth tone.

"And why would I do that? You don't exist. Why would I look at something that doesn't exist?" he said, shrugging his shoulders in defiance.

Fantastic. He was talking to his very own imaginary voice. He'd officially lost it.

"Why don't you turn around and see for yourself? Then you can tell me anything you want." It continued in its convincing flow of words.

"Look, can't you just leave me alone?" He asked angrily. He really didn't have time for this.

"Shane, turn around," the voice told him persistently.

He spun around, about to smash something in the wall. "For fucks sak-" except he never got far considering the woman who stood before him was very corporeal and not a mere figment of his frustrated imagination. She looked just as she did earlier on in the morning. But there was something guarded and hidden in her expression, along with a tinge of resignation.

The agitation he'd felt all day, along with the rich fuel of hatred and resentment suddenly clawed it's way out, roaring to life and wanting revenge.

"Go away Mitchie. I don't want to see your face." he said in an acerbic tone.

He watched her, as she stood there fidgeting away with her hands. Despite the fact that he was angry at her, he also wanted to preserve her image and make sure he'd stored it for safekeeping in his mind so that maybe some other day when he would miss her terribly, he would have a picture of her in his minds' eye.

She cleared her throat before speaking in a determined voice. "I came here to talk to you."

"To talk to me?" God, she had some nerve, didn't she? "What the hell could you possible have come to talk to me about, because everything is pretty crystal clear," he shook his head, disgusted and angry at her.

Her expression quickly changed from nervous to full on frontal. "You've got it all wrong, Shane."

At her little declaration, he was fuming that she would dare challenge him on what he thought. He could think whatever the fuck he wanted to think. "Oh, I've got it wrong? Clearly, you must be spiting me Mitchie, cause here I am, admitting my feelings for you, something that I wouldn't do for just any old bitch, and instead you slap it back in my face by ignoring me for two days and re-emerging draped all over Nate." He huffed out the last bit, most likely looking flushed from all that talking but it was so worth it seeing that priceless expression filled with absolute rage.

"I didn't do anything with Nate but talk to him. It wasn't my fault you weren't man enough to get up and tell me your feelings earlier on, instead of just moping around." she argued back

Oh, that was so low of her. "What good did it do me? When I did admit my feelings, you acted like a bitch about the whole thing, so don't you dare go turning this around on me," he yelled.

Her eyes instantly narrowed, the intensity of them burning his insides into ashes. "That's rich, Shane, considering the fact that you humiliated me by acting like the bastard that you are, kissing me in front of everyone like I was some kind of cheap whore. Was that your way of proving your love to me? Because that isn't love Shane; that's just a cheap shot at boosting your ego."

He was sick of this. If all they were going to do was throw cheap shots at one another, then there was no point in her being here. There was no point in seeing her face any longer.

"Get the fuck out of here, Mitchie. Just get out of my life and leave me alone. Leave my mind in peace." There was a sense of desperation in his voice even though he was angry. "Let me just live my life, but get out of here now, because I just can't take it anymore. This is fucking bullshit. Just get the fuck out of here now," he shouted out, hoping that would add more validity to the statement.

She blinked rapidly, shaking her head slightly as if sifting through her thoughts, her eyes avoiding his before she pursed her lips and said in an extremely low voice, "I can't though, can I, because I realised that I love you."

He would remember the moment for the rest of his life. All of these things would clearly etch their way into his memory; from the way she gnawed her bottom lip in worry to the way she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration at a spot on the floor. But most importantly, the way her lips were very pink and plump from all the gnawing and the way her long eyelashes framed that poetic face of hers that many might find plain but for him, it held everything.

She had said it so calmly, as if she was explaining the weather, that it took a moment for the words to sink in properly, so much so that he stood there like an idiot in a void and bitter silence. "What did you say?" he asked slowly and carefully just so he could catch the words again and trap them in that net of memory that was ready and open for this all too important catch.

Her head was bowed down very low before it rose one more time to allow her to look him in the eye and say with the utmost clarity, "I love you. I came here to tell you that bu-"

He swiftly interrupted her. "But what?"

He'd waited for this moment for so long. He'd dreamed of it, envisioning it day and night. Now that it was finally here, he didn't feel that sense of relief and happiness he thought he would. Instead, it only made him angry. What did she think, that all would be happy and merry after she admitted her feelings?

"You thought what?" he raised his eyebrows, mocking her. "You thought everything was going to be forgotten and we'd fall into each others arms, finished with a happily ever after? Because if that's what you thought then you were so fucking wrong, Mitchie," he told her bitterly.

She laughed at what he said, a long and mirthful laugh. "You're just so full of yourself, Shane. You make it sound as if you're the only one who was hurt in all of this. Like you didn't put me through anything at all. I realize that maybe I shouldn't have ignored you for two days, but guess what? Some of us aren't so quick to understand our feelings, Shane. I needed to understand my feelings, and now I know that you're someone who means a lot to me, but you cannot just go and throw all of this away."

Somehow, he'd maneuvred his way around the room fast and quick, reaching her and grabbing her by the arms, speaking in a low and menacing voice. "You have caused me nothing but pain, so I don't think I can take much of a chance with you."

It looked as if a light bulb had just lit up, and suddenly a slow and appreciative smile appeared across her face. Her arms remained fixed in his hands but she moved herself closer, so close that her breath mingled with his and her lips that were only mere inch away were slightly parted and open like a luring invitation. "Fine. If that's how you feel, then I guess there is nothing I can do. Only now, this means that I'm available, and I know Nate is very interested in me."

The devious little cow. She was playing the jealousy card.

"Good for you then," was all he could muster because he was trying very hard to not imagine what those two would look like together and convincing himself that he didn't care.

She smiled again, and she spoke in a very sober tone as if it killed her to even think it. "Oh yes, it's very good. Although, I do wonder if I'll get to kiss him today. His lips look so soft and firm. I wonder what they'd feel like against mine. Can you imagine that, Shane?" she asked, saying his name so enticingly, and he understood that she was most likely getting revenge for the shit he pulled on her with all of the sex talk. "Can you imagine he and I," somehow her hand had gotten free and slowly it trailed its way up his arm until her fingers reached his lips, and slowly her thumb rubbed gently against his bottom lip, "Together, all alone, kissing each other senseless while our bodies rubbed together," her thumb felt like an aphrodisiac, as if her lust fuelled its way into him and made him hot and sticky like candy. Sadly, he could imagine the sick little sight, and through the hazy clouds of lust and the way her leg rubbed against his, he realised there was no mother fucking way he was going to let that asshole touch _his_ woman.

Yes, he admitted it; she was _his._

He pushed her hand away, and looking deadly serious, he spoke out the words that he should have said a while ago. "Well, it isn't going to happen because the only man you're ever going to be touched by is me." With that thought firmly placed in both of their minds, he crashed his lips against hers, digging his hands into her hair and pulling her head to a slant so that those soft and warm lips of hers could part easily. He didn't have the patience to play games with her; instead, he slipped in and tasted her sweet tongue against his as it slowly rubbed against him, causing heated friction that was filled with lust as her mouth slanted over his and gasped in pleasure while their bodies moulded themselves into the perfect fit.

She seemed to be leaning on him heavily and as she pulled away, panting and out of breath, he realized this wasn't the time to have sex. It wouldn't be right because they would only be doing it out of anger and pain. For all he knew, she could be doing this to boost her confidence and bury those insecurities for once and all and him? He was probably doing it so he could piss her off and make her feel angry like him. Unfortunately, when emotions were as high as they were at this point, common sense and plain reason held no value whatsoever to the idea of hot and angry sex. They needed it, whether it was right or wrong, they still needed it. It was their way of trying to fix everything and the consequences held no importance. Whether it would ruin things further between them didn't hold any value. So when she grabbed a fistful of his dark hair and yanked his head forward for another round of kissing or what he liked to call tongue fucking, he didn't stop her; he simply encouraged her.

She felt hot, stuffy and extremely empowered. This was something she'd never done before. She'd just come here to convince him not to leave; to suddenly be making out in a dark and strange room wasn't the plan. But it felt good, it felt so right and normal. Then there were the encouraging sounds he was making which only made her feel more like a woman who was in control, for once. The way his hair flowed through her fingers was like silk and honey touching her hands. She continued in this pursuit, for once feeling no longer insecure and worried about herself.

He trailed his hands down her back, pulling her closer to him despite the lack of space between them, but he wanted to feel every inch of her knowing that it was only him and her, simply as man and woman. There was no Mitchie and Shane, just their needs that held importance for this moment. He walked them backward slowly and carefully so that his knees knocked against the bed and while she busied herself with his lips and as her hands wreaked havoc under his shirt, he gently laid down on the bed with her on top. She wore a simple dress with buttons at the front. Her thighs fell to either side of his hips and as she straddled him tightly, he lifted her dress up until it was pooled at her hips; carefully, he slid his hands beneath it so he could feel her soft back. She pulled back her lips pink and plump from all the exertion, and with agile speed, he latched on to her throat, suckling and nipping as she gasped in pleasure and shock.

He felt frustrated by the fact that she had too many clothes on and very little skin showing, causing a quick decision was made which involved the destruction of that dress. He let go of her back and reached her buttons, pulling the dress apart and hearing the satisfying sounds of the buttons going 'pop'. He smiled at that, and feeling extremely pleased with himself, he allowed her to push her dress up and over her head, throwing it to the ground.

Hearing him pull her buttons apart with male savageness was scary but also intoxicating like wine. She felt exposed and vulnerable knowing that he was seeing her for the first time in her barest form, something that no other man had ever done, but knowing it was Shane was worth it. She couldn't figure out what he was feeling or thinking through the way he was staring at her, but underneath it all was silent admiration which made her feel giddy as hell.

He laid there like a fool, gawking at her perfect body; her breasts were small and firm so that they filled his palms, her stomach flat and smooth, her torso slim and her skin a creamy expanse of white except for the two lonely beauty spots that lay hidden at the undersides of her breasts, winking at him in amusement for being rendered silent. His hands paved their way up her stomach and towards her breasts, her hands threaded with his urging him on higher and higher until he reached his destination. Quickly, before she changed her mind, his thumbs flicked out and rubbed the dusky centres of her breasts. He watched her eyes flutter shut as she took a sharp intake of breath and slowly, goose bumps erupted along her skin, making him smile lightly. He did it one more time simply to see that look of pleasure on her face, and it pleased him knowing that he could have that power, that he could make her weak. Gently, she rocked against him; he could feel her intimately and that only made it worse knowing that he could feel her and still hadn't gotten to her yet.

She leaned forward, her eyes dark and glazed over. Heavy with yearning, she whispered, "What are you going to do to make sure I stay?" She wanted him to do things to her that had never been done to her before. She wanted him to do them; not Nate, not anyone else, just him.

"I'm going to fuck you till your screaming my name alone," he growled as he jerked forward while she rotated and ground her hips against him, wanting to be inside of her badly, but there was still one piece of clothing still in their way. He lifted himself up so that she was pressed against him tightly and he flipped them over.

His hands slid down her body caressing every inch until he found the edge of her underwear and pulled them down while she lifted herself to help him remove them. At the same time, she pulled his shirt off and helped him with his all too famous pants; right now, the tightness of them was becoming a bitch and she quickly discarded them on the war torn floor. When finished with the task, he lay between her thighs, just silently admiring her beauty as she tenderly pushed strands of his hair away from his eyes. He kissed her mouth one more time before descending down her body, leaving a trail of kisses along her neck, down to the valley of her breasts paying extra attention to each one. As he got lower and lower, her hands gripped his hair tightly until he reached her center. His hands gently took hold of her thighs and he drew soothing circled with his fingers. Her breathing turned heavy, coming out in loud pants as she anticipated what was about to happen. He teased her a bit, kissing the insides of her thighs and around her centre but never touching where she so badly wanted him to. He only stopped when he himself couldn't take it. His mouth quickly found her core, French kissing it with thorough enjoyment. His tongue explored her folds, making sure he touched every last bit, but most of all, he paid heavy attention to that straining bud of nerves that screamed for attention. As he continued to explore her to his devices, her breath hitched, making him worry that she might stop breathing, but when he delved inside her, she completely stopped and all he could taste were her sweet juices as she broke out around him, crying his name and jerking herself against his mouth.

It was too much all these emotions tunnelling into her at once; for her first time it was way too much. Bright sparks of light sparkled in front of her vision as she tried to breathe normally and calm herself, but nothing could have prepared her for the onslaught of emotions and intense feelings. Apparently he had more planned with the way he was watching her like a hawk, this was her first time and the look in his eyes told her he was going to take her here and now, as if he was going to claim her as his own and that made her body tingle with excitement and joy. She was glad she was going to lose her virginity with him.

He climbed his way back up as she tried to calm herself down with half-lidded eyes and her arms lay there boneless he kissed her one more time, with a possessive and demanding fervour. He tasted like her, hoping that this would confirm the fact that no one could do this to her but him. She sighed contently, pleased with what had happened so far, but this wasn't the end though, at least not in his head. She shifted slightly opening her legs wider, inviting him further in an enticing way as she watched him carefully, waiting for him to make a move.

She smiled at him before breathlessly asking, "Are you using protection?" The only reason she asked was she wanted to be safe with no consequences simply because of impulsive actions.

He frowned before leaning over and reaching the side desk, he yanked a drawer open, pulling out a small blue packet, and took out the contents. After a bit of fumbling, he resumed his position and kissed her before trailing his lips along her jaw. He kissed her neck, burying his face against it before sliding inside of her. He met resistance, but pushed forward anyway, determined to get what they both wanted. She grabbed his shoulders, letting out a sob which made him worry if he'd hurt her. He froze, worried that he had done something wrong since her body remained tense and tight. It was excruciating; he wanted to move so badly but knew he'd have to wait until she told him she was ready.

She whispered "Go on," against his shoulder and that was his signal to make a move, now and fast. He slid in completely, making it feel perfect and it was a feeling that he realized only she could ever make him feel. He slid back out, and slowly a rhythm was formed between the two, where each stroke of his was met by the lifting of her hips. It was as if each touch and stroke burned them, creating an intense fire kindled for their use, and in sync their movements became more erratic, beginning with easy movements to jerks filled with fiery passion. Her sounds became wilder and out of control, sometimes even cursing whenever he hit a certain spot. It was as if this dance was created just for their sole use, made for them in this perfect fit. He couldn't hold out for any longer as she tugged at his hair and as he went deeper and harder, she bit her lip in bliss. She whimpered one or twice before he leaned in to capture her lips with his; he gave her a harsh and brutal kiss until he felt her contract around him. She wrenched free and cried his name out into the dark room as she crashed into waves of desire and need that finally let her go into complete silence. He could feel it all happening to her until he suddenly fell out of his rhythm and reached the same point as her. His vision was blinded with bright colours as he clenched before finally releasing himself. In a stunning moment of pure perfection, he felt completely sated as he lay against her shoulders, feeling very content.

As they laid there in silence, she stroked his back while he tried to catch his breath. He could tell that her mind was working like clockwork, thinking about something or another, since the silence was easy and contemplative as his other hand remained on her thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"I never knew making love could be so ……..rough," she said thoughtfully

"Um, I wouldn't class that as love making. It's more of a rough fucking," he stated matter-of-factly.

He laughed at the strangeness of the answer until she punched him on the shoulder, really hard. He lifted his head to see her scowling at him. Way to go Shane, ruining the moment.

"What I meant was…. it may have been rough but that was only at the beginning; the rest was lovemaking at its best form," he amended, smiling that charming smile at her that melted most hearts, and hopefully, that's exactly what it would do right now.

It was silent; she hadn't said anything and it felt awkward, until she spoke.

"You're so crude sometimes," she whispered faintly, but there wasn't any coldness in her words so he assumed the worst was over.

He smiled at that. "But you still love me right?" He turned his head to look at her with a smile.

She never answered; instead, she'd fallen asleep. It was typical that he was just too good; obviously, he'd tired her out. Maybe he should be gentler with her next time.

Maybe.

* * *

**Sex scenes are a bitch to write. They become even bitchier when it's the first time your're writing one, which is why it took so long to get this out. Hopefully it seems like the right moment for them to have sex instead of giving the impression of it being forced for the sake of it.**

**I'm sure some are glad that this has finally happened, then again some are probably not very happy.**

**Since I'm a bitch and want you to suffer in agony here's the next sneak peek-**

_He watched how that flower floated to the floor. It might have looked beautiful now but when autumn came, it would wither away into nothing. Shane and Mitchie were like that flower.They would eventually become just like it._

_He noticed how she turned around to smile at Barron and he wished that she would smile at him like that, just once. But he knew that such things would never happen, for she could never truly be his. Ever._

**Oh, so there was a reason for why Mitchie was blithering on about cherry blossom trees, hmmm what has the nasty author got planned, will she kil someone? Or is this something random and totally out of context?**

**Well, you'll never know until you review………………**


	12. A Bed Of Roses

**I probably still to this day can't thank you enough for all the lovely and amazing reviews that I am just so lucky to get, but know that I'm grateful that you take the time out to tell me your thoughts. **

**Although I do feel horrible for making you wait so long for this, so it's understandable if you hate me. Thanks to my Beta Angel17712 for putting in all these fancy words and making the chapter sound better then it actually is.**

* * *

_With an ironclad fist I wake up  
and French kiss the morning  
While some marching band keeps  
its own beat in my head_

By Bon Jovi/Hinder

(Cause I like the Hinder version a lot)

Bed Of Roses

He could smell strawberries.

Really, really strong strawberries.

They were the awfully horrible kind that just wouldn't leave you alone, and right now, he could smell them with every breath that he drew in. Sweet and sugary. In fact, the smell made him create a mental image of them. Large, daunting and a bright shade of red, they surrounded him everywhere. He shifted his head to the left, but that only made something furry rub against his nose which irritated him even more.

He froze.

There was a heavy and warm object wrapped around him. All around him. Slowly, as the fuzziness disappeared, he realized that the weight was more on his right side as opposed to surrounding him completely. He tried moving his legs but couldn't since they were entangled with something………that felt ………like legs?

His eyes shot open immediately and there, resting her head on top of his chest, was Mitchie. Her hair was sprawled out everywhere and he noticed that his earlier beliefs were true; it was Mitchie's legs entangled with his own. She was wrapped securely in his arms as he held her protectively, as if afraid, even in his sleep, that she might just disappear. She looked comfortable and happy, and maybe she felt safe in his arms or then again, she could be too lost to realize exactly where she was.

It was still dark. Dawn hadn't come yet. It had probably only been a couple of hours since they'd fallen asleep and yet, it felt like an eternity had passed by.

As the fuzziness cleared, so did his thoughts. It was uncomfortable if truth be told. He didn't feel happy or pleased with whatever it was that he may have accomplished by pulling off such a feat. All he felt was panicked and claustrophobic; panicked at what they'd just done and claustrophobic towards the whole room and how it reminded him of what had just taken place mere hours ago. The room felt of sex, lingering with the heavy and sweaty scent of it. It reminded him of a silly little music box, that no matter how much you might have hated it, no matter how much the silly little dancing girl in the middle might just irritate you, you couldn't switch it off because the key refused to budge and the batteries were adamant on not dying.

The widow had remained partially open throughout the whole time. He wondered who else might have heard what had happened. A gentle breeze drifted into the room, composed with particles of dust that had managed to submerge themselves into the wind. And as they slowly floated into the room, starting their journey from the open window and heading towards the cabinet, they waved around like an old and ancient ritual dance created specifically for mating. They remained composed as a single unit but the more the wind pulled them along for the ride, the more these components of dust would linger away and break off, before re-submerging together as if trying to kiss the other, knowing that they would eventually separate into loneliness and idle worship without the other.

In this cold room, he wondered what he'd just done. He ran his fingers through her hair, gently, making sure he didn't wake her up. It was shocking that they'd finally had sex because he'd wanted it for a long time. But now that it had happened, it was hard to sink in, difficult to come to grips with, because the questions was, now what? What did they do now? Did sex solve everything? Did this mean things would go back to normal? He wanted that. He wanted normal, but he had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't come so easily. If this now meant that they were in some sort of relationship, then could he make it work? Wait, did she want that? Did she even want to be with him? Maybe she had only admitted her feelings for the sake of it, to get them off of her chest. Then again, even he had been difficult when it came to expressing his feelings. It was strange how during important times, where it was necessary to admit how you felt, humans automatically would become reluctant and defensive about the topic. He remembered that voice with perfect clarity, the one he'd heard a while back but now it felt like centuries ago. That voice, unlike any other voice, held emotion; it expressed everything he could never explain or reveal to anyone. He wondered where that voice had gone, having not heard it for so long made life seem strange and empty. Like a facade.

The more he contemplated over his worries, the hotter and stuffier it got. Looking down at Mitchie's sleeping form, he decided that it was better if he went outside and got some fresh air. Carefully easing himself out of her embrace, taking care not to wake her up, he slipped out of the room in a pair of black pajamas. He'd return in a while, hopefully before she woke up.

OoOoOoOoOOOOoooOoOOo

Tess couldn't sleep.

She tossed, she turned and she huffed and whined a bit. She even fell off the bed, but no matter what, she still couldn't sleep. The air was heavy and dense with dry heat, the one that caused prickling sensations to erupt every once in a while all over your legs and along your spine, insistent on irritating you no matter what, making you want to itch here, there, and everywhere. Maybe this was her punishment from God for being bitter about everything, for causing problems in other people's lives. But who cared? She didn't give two shits about the whole thing. As long as she remained unscathed, then everything was fine, according to her. Oh, she'd lay off the whole trouble-making for a while and be seen as a goody-two shoes, just until Final Jam was over. If mommy dearest caught her doing anything embarrassing, then she'd be in deep shit. So good behaviour needed to be maintained consistently. It was hard to do so, seeing as how Shane had decided to go all Emo towards the whole Mitchie and Nate incident. Everyone knew about the two of them, how Nate and Mitchie were secretly seeing one another behind Shane's back. She always knew there was something dodgy about Mitchie; it was lovely seeing it confirmed. It was even more lovely to see Shane become even more depressed, and the Shit-face deserved it anyway. He was just so spoiled. She was nothing compared to the way he acted, as if he was superior to her. He was too infuriating to handle.

But it didn't matter, because her eyes were on a better target and he went by the name of Nate. Now, he was a mystery; one minute he would be next to Mitchie, and then the next with Caitlyn, although, she did notice Caitlyn acting more strangely, if possible. Maybe she and Mitchie were secretly lesbians or something, vying to make the other jealous.

Fuck, this heat seemed to refuse to leave her. She forced herself out of bed. It was nice not having to worry about waking anyone up since Ella and Peggy, for some absurd reason, had left her to sleep in another cabin complaining about too many mosquitoes. She didn't buy it. Obviously they were up to something; she'd figure it out soon enough. She left the room, quickly skipping the steps down passing by the other cabins. It felt like a haunting moment; the moon shined its pale light everywhere and there was the horrible sound of crickets. Apparently, only male crickets could chirp. The hotter it was, the more chirping there was. In fact if you added 40 to the number of chirping you heard in 15 seconds, then the end result would be the temperature in Fahrenheit. Wait, how the fuck did she know th- Fuck, Peggy's dorky brain was contagious!

Her stupid thoughts came to a halt when she spotted a lonely figure, standing there staring into the distance, not sensing her presence. Little did silly old Tess know that this meeting would change and destroy lives without her realizing it.

OOooOoOoOOoOoOoOO

The feeling of the sun shining on him felt amazing. As the heat slowly paved its way along his body, he felt a sense of freedom. Freedom from all these responsibilities and problems that he had to face on a daily basis, things that someone his age shouldn't have to deal with. That, unfortunately, was the price of fame and sometimes a one-sided friendship. It felt like he was being washed by holy water, that the sun was a representation of that religious symbol washing him from his sins and those awful desires that had started to become more active than ever before.

He leaned back against the bench, tilting his head to the side to admire the sight and soaking up the rays of light. It was early morning and he was probably one of the limited few who wanted to bask in this moment. Just the idea of being a simple human being with no needs, no material possessions, only an entity, sitting here in somber resplendence admiring something that he couldn't so often see.

But there was one girl who silently stood, staring up at the sky like him, as if she too understood it's secrets and appreciated it just as he did. And as the sun shone on her hair, making it look as if it held a multitude of colours, he was curious towards what her thoughts might be at that moment, in this simple heart stopping moment. Her face was flawless in his eyes; he couldn't ignore it any longer. It was a knowledge that he reluctantly acknowledged, whether he wanted to or not, it didn't matter. It was just there; in existence, quietly slumbering somewhere deep in him, and yet at times roaring to life, unleashing itself from all the lies and hidden denials. It simply existed.

Beyond her stood a tree, lonely and in isolation as if contemplating the existence of life and its many complications. It was filled with flowers, cherry blossom flowers that were scattered all along the winding path that he'd so often taken. But there was one lonely flower that he could see so very clearly, slightly tilted. It waited in patience for the breeze to pick up and take it back down to home; to earth, to the soil that nurtured it, brought it to life and made it worthwhile. It was awful that nature allowed such things to exist, to remain so alluring and beautiful only to be destroyed by the very thing that created it. He wondered whether such a fate would occur with him. Patiently it waited, until the moment finally came, and in a slow descent it came.

He watched how that flower floated to the floor. It might have looked beautiful now but when autumn came, it would wither away into nothing. Shane and Mitchie were like that flower. They would eventually become just like it.

He noticed how she turned around to smile at Barron and he wished that she would smile at him like that, just once. But he knew that such things would never happen, for she could never truly be his. Ever.

That was her nature, to never consider her own needs, just always waiting on the sidelines, fulfilling the needs of others. It was such a contrast to Shane whose priority for a very long time had always been himself. Up until recently, he wouldn't have given a second glance to anything that wouldn't benefit him. She, on the other hand, would. Maybe that's what made him respect her and admire her, even go as far as to want her. That was the tragedy of his life, to want and yet not possess, and she was so oblivious to it sometimes. She laughed at something Barron the twisted prick said, which only made him feel even more envious. Her laughs towards him were always in mocking recognition or just to mimic him; she never laughed out of genuine joy. If she ever held his hand, it was always for a reason, never because she wanted to feel his touch, and for him, those touches were electric. His fingers, so callous from all the guitar playing and smooth in between each one and the middle of his palm, would suddenly burn and erupt into flames of heated fire against her soft silk like hands.

It was the awful truth of life.

So instead of voicing his thoughts, he just watched, and voiced them in his mind, thinking what else fate would bring in it's hands.

For the moment, all Nate wanted was for Caitlyn to need him. Not for some silly little plan to help _someone else_, but simply because _she _needed him.

Nate didn't need to think for much longer, because someone took a seat next to him, letting out an angry huff and as he turned around he realized the girl with the large scowl on her face was none other than Mitchie.

And all he could think was, '_Here we fucking go again!'_

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOoO_

_Shot me down as I flew by  
Crash and burn  
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is_

By Yellowcard

Empty Apartment

She leaned back against the bench, her hands resting on her lap while she tried to ignore Nate's inquisitive look, hoping that he would leave her alone for the moment so she could think clearly. Confusion and anger were very strong emotions, and when paired with a woman's wrath, it would be in Nate's best interests if he didn't ask her questions. As her hair fluttered around her face and behind her back, she tried her hardest to separate, and in some sense, categorise her thoughts, but most of all she needed to figure out her priorities. The first step would be figuring out her feelings towards everything.

Awkward.

That's how she'd describe the feeling between the two. Very awkward and out of control. In fact, no, there was no sense of control between them; it was just a jumbled mess that became more complicated by the second. They hadn't spoken. He refused to approach her and she wasn't going to make the first move, considering it was the bastard's own fault, not hers. It had been two days, two fucking days since they'd slept together and he hadn't had the decency to come up to her, to even explain things to her. Instead. he sauntered around as if he owned the place, as if he was some fucking god who could do no wrong, while she stood there looking like a mumbling idiot. So, the cold shoulder it was, and it would continue to be so until the prick pulled his act together.

Instead of things getting better and better, things just ended up getting worse and worse. One would think that by revealing their feelings for each other, it would finally make things less of a mess, that every little problem would disintegrate and fall into dust, holding no value whatsoever. Instead, what would hold importance was them and their future together; even if that future didn't last forever, at least there would be something. But no, it was now turning into tangled web filled with secrets and lies that became larger than life and harder to hold back. It was as if there was a sense of animosity between them, that no matter what, she couldn't get rid of.

But that was the problem, wasn't it? Relationships are just so goddamn complicated, well, at least if you can still call what they had a relationship. See, there are these rules that need to be followed, rules that have to be abided by no matter what. They're strict patterns that will both establish and make your relationship grow, or ultimately they could destroy it with each step. But what happens when the relationship is only just forming? What do you do then? Then there are no rules to follow. Instead, it starts to turn complex and chaos ensues with each decision. With each step, you try to take towards a hopefully brighter future. Hell breaks loose, things start to turn ugly, and awkwardness, embarrassment, and hate suddenly resurface like frothy foam on a layer that once upon a time was pure and brilliant blue. No matter how much she tried to sift through the foam or even through the events of the other night, she could no longer create a clear picture that would give her all the answers she needed. She'd have to work for it, figure out where it was that she went wrong and why he committed ridiculous actions at each and every turn.

_She felt happy, very happy. She snuggled closer for warmth, stretching her arm out to find Shane so she could hold him closer, but instead she found the spot next to her cold and empty. Her eyes flew open and she took in her surroundings. It was dark and slightly cold, the fish continued to swim back and forth just like earlier.. Everything looked the same, except the person she was looking for, who was no longer in the room. Where was he? She got out of bed, wrapping the sheet around herself and tried to take a better look at the room. The floor looked the same, with the clothes thrown about, except when she got closer to the cabinet, she found one of the drawers open. It had only recently had been searched through, because she couldn't remember anything out of order earlier on, and now it was clear that it had been messed around with. Shane had obviously gone out, making sure to wear a set of fresh clothes, while she stood here alone, feeling like a fool and completely out of place. _

_Well, this was an amazing moment. This momentous occasion only left open two options. Either he'd gone out to get something, although what that could be she had no idea. Then there was always the second option: he'd ditched her. Whether to save face or not, he'd ditched her. _

_No wait, she shouldn't jump to conclusions. He might be feeling hungry or maybe even needed to go to the bathroom. She should wait and see if he came back, obviously he would. She could here the faint sound of the clock ticking away, patiently waiting it out just like her. Or maybe it was mocking her. She couldn't tell. _

_Where the hell was he?_

_She ventured over towards the window, where she hoped to catch some fresh air which could help with the sudden feeling of queasiness. She placed one hand against the panel, and leaned forward tilting her head to a sharp angle, allowing her to stick it out the window. She took in a deep breath, as a fresh gust of wind flew past her face, making her hair whip out, making it sound like the flutter of wings, hopelessly trailing up and down. She shifted her gaze to the left side of the open space in between the many cabins that acted like a sequence. Her mouth went dry. Maybe it was the humid heat, or just the sickness, but she knew it was something completely different. She saw him, standing there in pajamas and nothing else, next to Tess. And apparently it looked like they were in some sort of deep conversation, where heads were close together and arms were flapping about as if to state a point making it look like an intimate moment between the two. _

_The ticking of the clock grew louder and louder, more pronounced then ever before. So it was mocking her. She staggered back, partly in shock and partly in humiliation. She grabbed her clothes and left that awful room, the one that reminded her too much of a horrible man who had cruelly stomped all over her already fragile heart. _

She was pulled from her thoughts by Nate's somber voice.

"He keeps talking about a voice, singing some silly song," Nate said, as he watched her carefully, lost in thought.

She looked at him, wondering why he was telling her this, "Does he?"

She could feel his hands sifting through her hair, playing with the tips, twirling them around his fingers, as if trying to soothe her in his own way. "Yeah, he seems to be enthralled by it. I wonder who she is," he said thoughtfully, and maybe amazed that a girl could possess such a talent.

"Yes, I wonder who she is," Mitchie mused.

* * *

**Again, I'm ashamed to admit its one of those boring filler chapters, although the next one will be longer. You know, it's getting harder and harder to pick excerpts without revealing too much. **

_Softly, ever so softly, in a tainted whisper she said, "You're a coward,"_

_He refused to meet her eyes, because he knew somehow that she was right._

"_You'll kill her, break her like a used puppet and you won't even look back," she choked on a sob, before glaring at him in resentment. _

**Yes, I know I'm a bitch and you're most likely wondering WTF. Very random isn't it. Could be any old idiot talking there. (Insert a very evil and wicked cackle from the author)**

**Like usual; review, especially those who I know still to this day haven't reviewed, pleeaasssseeeeeeee tell me what you think, I do get curious about you guys. **


	13. Rapturous Voice

**Thank you for the lovely reviews.**

**Thankfully this is the last chapter, and yes I could have warned you but then you would have become worried and fussed.**

**Thanks to my lovely beta Angel17712 for making this seem so much better than it actually is! Italics are flashbacks**

* * *

_Light, like the flutter of wings,  
feel your hollow voice rushing  
into me as you're longing to sing.  
So I,I will paint you in silver.  
I will wrap you in cold.  
I will lift up your voice as I sink._

_As a rapturous voice escapes  
I will tremble a prayer  
and I'll beg for forgiveness._

By AFI

Silver And Cold

There is a famous Persian poem, written close to a thousand years ago. With its simple words it reminds us of the beauty of love and it goes along the lines of, "Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the Whole Sky." Awhile back, Shane would have found that ridiculous, finding the sun to be foolish and an idiot. Why would the sun not take advantage of the earth? It owed the sun big time for giving its resources to it and the unwise humans that lived on it, thankless and arrogant beings that they were at times. The sun deserved its payment, but this was before Shane had been through what the sun suffered on a regular basis. It wasn't just about rewards; there was a bigger picture to it. Both represented a harmonious relationship that remained in prefect sync. Petty needs held no value, because they were the definition of love; giving without wanting. So it was the sun's decision to not take but to give, and not just to earth, but to every other planet that existed, to every star that needed it. That was the starting point of decision making.

Sometimes decisions need to be made. No matter how difficult and tough they might be, they need to be made. Personal preferences need to be put aside for that moment and acceptance must take place. Decisions can be easy like the flash of a hand and yet some decisions are hard to make, because they not only affect you but someone else's life, too. It is therefore highly imperative that when such moments occur in our lives, we do them, not in haste, but with careful and calculated thinking. We take precautions and take into account many things that could affect our judgment.

But above all, what everyone wishes for during such moments is for that certain someone standing in the sidelines, waiting patiently and watching you not with a scrutinizing eye, but with understanding and hope. And by waiting it is ultimately their way of saying, that's it okay; that even if you fuck up, screw everything, they won't judge you. Instead, they'll tell you that they're with you, that even if the world ends, they're proud of you for trying, for giving it a shot and they'll love you no matter what.

But wishing is for idle fools.

There would be no one watching him, even loving him. Not after what he was about to do.

The lights were shining brightly, glaringly bright. But that was expected since it was Final Jam and the last performance had just taken place. Such surroundings were something that he should be comfortable with, the lights, the stage, everything, since it was all so common to him. But the sad thing was he wasn't comfortable. What he felt was alienation towards this whole scenario. A bit like a silly little key suspended from a rope, swinging back and forth, never knowing when the awful nausea would end. Maybe it would never end. Maybe it would continue on and on until the day he died, as a haunting reminder of his sins. But the lights didn't hold the key to anything, the answer lay ahead. He spotted her, silently walking along with Brown and Caitlyn, a small smile playing along her lips, while Caitlyn remained sombre, probably because she knew something was about to happen, something that she had no say in. For once she couldn't do anything and have no control in this decision. It would probably kill her along the way, but she'd get over it and move on just like Mitchie.

So when Mitchie looked his way, he didn't hesitate, didn't think for a second because there was no point to it. He'd done enough thinking to last a lifetime. He leaned down and gently, with soft precision, connected his lips to the girl sitting next to him. And it wasn't because he wanted to; it was because he had to.

OoOooOoOoOo

_Maybe he should go inside; it was getting too freaking cold. _

_All thoughts of the temperature flew out the window when he heard an amused voice. "What are you doing here?"_

_He turned around and saw Tess standing there, decked in shorts, a tank top and black flip flops. She looked pleased to see him and watched him with an appreciative eye. _

"_None of your business," he replied curtly. _

_She smiled. "Really, shouldn't you be with Mitchie?"_

"_Like I said, none of yo-" he paused, feeling confused, "Wait, how did you know?"_

_She gave him a sweet smile. "I didn't, but thank you for telling me."_

_He scowled at her, ticked at being duped by her of all people, "Well, why are you here?"_

"_Like you said, none of your business." With that, she shifted her gaze to the sky._

_Clearly, she was waiting for him to make a move. He pondered over this. Would it be a good thing to talk to her? She wasn't exactly classed as his friend, more like an ally. What the hell, he might as well get it over with, what trouble could she possibly cause him?_

"_I had a lot on my mind." He shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly._

_Smoothly, she replied, "Same here, although I'm curious as to what could possibly be on yours."_

_He sighed, "Just things. Stuff that I'm worried about. Fears."_

"_And what could possibly make the great Shane Gray worried?" she snorted._

_He raised an eyebrow. "Despite what you may think, I'm human, just like you. Oh wait, I forgot. You're the devils spawn, silly me, huh? I guess you shouldn't have shown me your true colours so soon." He smirked at that, silently pleased that he'd gotten to her._

_She gave him a filthy look. "Or maybe you were just too slow. After all, you were so busy acting like a lost little puppy, your spidey senses seemed to have stopped tingling." She laughed at him before staring back at the starry sky, "And anyway, none of this will work." _

"_What do you mean?"_

_She flapped her hands about trying to give a visual picture to her words, "You and Mitchie, and everything in between. It's nothing."_

"_I still don't get what you mean."_

"_I mean, whatever it is you so desperately want with Mitchie; it won't work. This so called "relationship" won't make it. It will crumble away." He gave her a skeptical look. "Look, your relationship's a bit like a sand castle. Sure, it looks pretty and all, but with time, the brutal waves of the sea will make it crumble into nothing. You won't notice it, but it will happen. As each wave hits you, a little layer will fall off. And no matter what you may want to believe, more sand won't save it; it will only crush it."_

"_You should write stories. Never knew you could talk with depth and metaphors. But two words: fuck you," he said with intense cruelty._

_She only narrowed her gaze, staring at him with amusement. "Deny it all you want, but I'm living proof, Shane. Famous and rich people never get the happy ending."_

_She said this with such ease that it pissed him off to no end. "I love her, Tess. That's enough for both of us."_

_She laughed at that. "You don't sound so sure. Are you sure it's love, because it sounds like you're only infatuated with the idea of love. Come on, Shane, you're what, 18, 19? How can you possibly know what love is?"_

_He let out an irritated sigh. "This topic is off discussion."_

_She ignored him. "You're living in a fantasy. If you don't believe me, look at me. My family is living proof of it. My parents were in their twenties when they fell in love. They thought they could make it work. And everything was fine for a while, until she started to become more popular. Things got out of control. Suddenly my father held no value to her. Fame did."_

_His eyes narrowed with clipped fury. "Just shut up, Tess!"_

_She folded her arms across her chest. "Oh, I'll shut up. Although, if they couldn't make it work, and we're talking about two grown ups here who obviously had far more experience when it came to life, what makes you think you two are gonna last? What makes you so much better then the rest of the world?"_

_She stared at him, waiting for an answer, but he said nothing. It was a silence filled with amusement and anger. In a soft voice, she said, "I'm not questioning your relationship at this moment and time. What I am questioning is your future, because touring and a musician's life will ruin everything. So think about it carefully. I hate you, don't forget that, but I'm no longer interested in you either. So my opinion is one with experience and no matter what you think, it is unbiased."_

_He remained silent; there wasn't much to say since she'd said it all. But mostly because a small part of him knew that somewhere along the lines, her words held truth._

OoOoOoOOOoOOoOoO

His lips lingered a moment longer then probably necessary, maybe because he was wishing they belonged to someone else. Carefully, he eased away and pulled back to stare into rich blue eyes, the ones that reminded you of a stormy ocean, but the eyes of Tess Tyler held no importance to a pair of chocolate brown eyes.

His skin felt like it was on fire, as if it was about to combust into flames. He wanted to peel his skin off, shred it into nothing so that he could remove her scent from him, so that there was no shred of evidence remaining that he had any physical contact with Tess. The world needed to know what happened, he didn't. It would probably haunt him, but that was the price. Tess knew there was nothing going on between them.

Surprisingly, she was reluctant to do this, mostly in case Nate thought wrong of her, but that ship sailed by a long time ago. So she agreed; with hatred, she agreed. He realised she may have been obsessed with him, but that didn't mean she liked him. He could see it pretty clearly right now in her ice cold eyes.

He looked ahead to see Nate throw him a disgusted look, and any man would have in Nate's position, but it was Mitchie that caught him and her reaction was something he expected as clear as daylight. He thought he could handle it, but seeing her now with pain and shock etched across her face, he knew he'd fed himself lies; he couldn't handle it. That look would haunt him for the rest of his life. Caitlyn looked at him with hatred and pure loathing. It felt like a blaze of heat, making its way around the room and scorching him right at the end of its journey. She pulled, or rather dragged, Mitchie's lifeless form out of view. Caitlyn's behaviour was understandable; after all, the girl had known something was about to happen.

OoOoOOoOoOoO

_He walked into the dance studio with five minutes to spare before class would start. Rubbing his forehead hoping for the headache to go, he didn't see her sitting there, patiently waiting for him. _

"_Why are you doing this?" she said quietly._

_He looked up, only to notice Caitlyn carefully watching him from a chair. Great, he knew this was going to happen; he was just hoping it would have been a bit longer till it did. _

_He gave her a confused look. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Don't give me that bullshit, Shane," she snapped. "What the hell are you doing?"_

_He raised his hands up as if in surrender. "Right, I don't have time for this. I have cla-"_

"_And I don't have time for the games you're playing. What happened to "I love you Mitchie"? Where did all of that suddenly disappear off to? Oh, I get it. This was all about having a good fuck, wasn't it?" she said bitterly._

"_You don't even know what you're talking about, Caitlyn." _

"_I know exactly what I'm talking about. You're the one who did the disappearing act for two days. You're the one who didn't show up the next day to apologize for having a night chat with that slut called Tess," she said in a calm and serene voice that, if he didn't know her so well, he would have believed the pretence. _

_He didn't have time to be getting in an argument with her. "This is none of your business, Caitlyn. I have class in two min-"_

_She suddenly shot out of her chair and was frozen with terror. "You're going to….you're going to do it, aren't you?" _

"_Do what?"_

"_You know what!" she nearly shrieked as her hand reached up to her throat, running the fingers up and down her collar bone. "You're just so fucking screwed up, so good at screwing everything up!"_

_He stared at her, watching how understanding flickered across her face. In that moment, he knew that she was clever enough to know what he was about to embark upon._

"_I have no choice," he said with regret._

"_No choice? So why'd you even be with her then? Why didn't you just stay out of her life?"_

"_I didn't fucking plan it," he burst out. "It's not like I thought about it."_

"_And now you've decided to use your shitty little brain," she said flatly._

"_Caitlyn," he sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair in irritation and the lack of understanding she seemed to be showing him. "I'm never going to make her happy. I thought I could, I kept thinking that I could make it work, that we could make it work, but it will never work. Being in a band will affect our relationship. I'll never have time for her. I can't provide her with a normal healthy relationship. It's better to hurt her now than to do it later on down the road." He said with absolute conviction. _

"_My god!" she pulled at her sleeves in frustration before sitting again, trying to calm herself down, registering what she had just discovered. _

_Softly, ever so softly, in a tainted whisper, came the words. "You're a coward."_

_He refused to meet her eyes, because he knew somehow that she was right._

"_You'll kill her, break her like a used puppet and you won't even look back," she said, choking on a sob, before glaring at him in resentment. _

"_You can't change my mind."_

"_No, but breaking her will make you feel so much better, won't it?" she said sarcastically. "You used her, for what? Leading her along for what? You can-"_

_But there wasn't much to say; right on cue, the door burst open with a rush of students clambering in for a good seat. In this moment all they could do was stare at one another hoping to convey hate and understanding in these few seconds, before everything turned dark and twisted beyond understanding. _

_Maybe it was just fate._

OoOOoOoOOoO

Caitlyn shook Mitchie's shoulders hoping to get her attention. "Listen to me, Mitchie."

She couldn't. It was too cold and clammy to listen to anything. The only thing that kept replaying through her mind was Shane and Tess. Shane and Tess, again and again. With it, she cried, letting the tears trail their way down her cheeks. Well she was glad for them; at least they had an end to their journey. They knew exactly where they were going, and she had nothing. She was just left there, like Alice in Wonderland.

Caitlyn shook her again, "Mitchie, I want you to ignore him."

"Ignore him," she cried. "How can I ignore him? He's slapped it in my face right in front of everyone."

"Remember what Nate said?"

"I don't give a fuck about Nate!" she yelled. "I need to leave, I have to go." She made a futile attempt at getting away from Caitlyn, but the other girl's grip was too strong.

"No. Remember Nate said that Shane kept talking about a voice. How he was obsessed with it."

"What does this have to do with us?"

"Not us, with you. You're the voice. I heard him humming the song and I remembered you singing the same thing once. You hold everything for him."

She stared at her blankly, "I want to go. I don't care about any song. I hate him." She finished fiercely.

"Don't you want to get back at him? That asshole made you suffer. He humiliated you like a used toy. This is it," Caitlyn told her in a cold fury-filled voice. "Use it against him. He wanted something and now he's lost it. Make him feel hurt and pain like he made you."

"I can't do that," she said shakily.

"Why the fuck not?" Caitlyn yelled. "Stop sitting here like a good little girl and do something or else everyone's going to treat you like shit. Don't throw this away." She pleaded.

"Everything's thrown into the gutter. What more do I have left? I have nothing."

"If you go back to your room and cry, it's only going to please him more," Caitlyn pleaded with passion in her voice. "He's going to know he got to you: Mission accomplished. But if you go up there and take that stage, then he'll realize what he threw away. Do you want every other man to use you like he did?"

There was a moment of silence.

"What was the song?"

Caitlyn smiled, leaned down and whispered it into Mitchie's ear before pointing towards a door. "Walk through there and the steps up will lead you to the stage."

She looked at it with uncertainty. "I don't know."

"No, don't think about the do's and don'ts, just think about the pain and every time you get scared, focus on the pain he's put you through. And remind yourself why you're doing this. Don't let him off so easily."

She stared at the door. The way it stood so still and perfect emphasized the power it had over her right now. In it's daunting brown colour, it was waiting for her this whole time to come and make it feel worthwhile. Caitlyn had left and the silence felt terrible and lonely. This thing she had with Shane, with slow effort she believed it to be something more than a summer fling, something with importance and value, something that was worth cherishing. Right now, she wasn't so sure she could look back at it with hatred or fondness. In fact, she didn't know if she could look back at it, period, but maybe that was the nasty reality of love. It was a silly little trick. She understood the whole forbidden fruit reference. It looked so alluring, the forbidden apple she could never have but when she bit into it, it was an apple filled with worms eating their way out, slowly carving routes to destruction.

What held great significance at this point was that little dream she had, and it was too late to realize what her dream was telling her. She now understood the wisdom behind it. The eruption of that sand figure was a symbol of her relationship; it was a testimony to the fact that she could never have Shane, that they would never have each other, and slowly the intimacy between them would destroy itself when things became too good; too good to the point of doubt.

For now, all she could do was stare at the large daunting door, which silently held all her answers. And in that moment, all she had was silence as her comfort. The valleys and mountains may erupt into clouds of dust, but it would never be enough.

The only thing that could console her was the silence.

Stark cold silence.

OoOooOoOoO

He heard it.

The voice he had wanted for so long suddenly came to him. And for awhile, he thought he was hallucinating, until he saw her up there on that stage. And everything felt ten times worse. It sounded the same, felt the same. It was that rapturous voice that he'd heard so long ago, but now there was more to it. It felt more like a haunting melody being played specifically to torture him.

There was nothing he could do, so he stood there in silence, watching her sing, and not saying a word because he knew he'd screwed things up even more.

For now the only thing that could console him was the silence in his mind.

Stark, cold silence.

The end!

* * *

**Yes, your eyes are probably glazed thinking of various ways to kill me. I wanted this ending since the moment I wrote their first kiss in chapter 4. I could have changed the ending due to the immense pressure, but then what's the point of me writing this. I bet not many of you saw that coming, but I have hinted it plenty of times from the constant reference to the cherry blossom tree, to the dream that Mitchie had. I feel very original because I doubt anyone has put you through a long story and not given you a happy ending, well at least not in the camp rock section.**

**I'm also sure some of you may want to have a sequel, which seems to have become the latest trend for every writer. No I'm not going to do one, this is the end. I'm not into sequels. I have left a nice open ending I guess just in case I have a stupid moment where I do want to do one, but I doubt it will ever happen. Although I do know my beta reader wants to do a one shot but I don't know when she'll do it.**

**Thank you for the support you guys have given me, this story would have been nothing without you and know that i love you for that. I feel awfully sad that it's the end. Review for me one last time because as always your thoughts mean a lot to me. But also because yesterday was results day for A levels in the UK mine unfortunately are coming by post since I arrived late. I still haven't gotten them. So wish me luck!**

**Review………………………!?**


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